Advice I Have Been Given......

I am going to be nice and call what follows as advice. You are free to form your own opinion. I will state upfront that I do not consider all of it advice. A lot of it I would say falls into the previous post of Stupid Shit People Say To Pregnant Women. Again, you can form your own opinion and please, feel free to let me know your thoughts.

As I went over in the previous post, there are a ton of people who ever since I announced the pregnancy have felt the need to tell me nothing but negative crap. Things like how will you guys afford a baby? Where will you put it since your place is so small? Aren't you worried about your age being a factor? (These are people that I no longer talk to) How will Mr. 2g2bt's kids react? Blah, blah, blah. At this point I just smile and in my head hear the voice of the Charlie Brown teacher. Bite me is all I really can say to these people. Those are things for us to figure out and the rest of you to not be concerned with. It will all work because we love each other, we will find a way to make it work and it has to work out!

Now the people that I really like hearing advice from are the ones that tell me that I look like I'm loosing weight and I need to eat more. These are my fav peeps to talk to. I'm at 7 months now and I've gained less than 20 lbs. However, it is seriously all belly. I really think it's being sucked from other parts of my body, especially my face according to Mr. 2g2bt, and put in my belly. I'm ok with that. I was told just this week that there are two types of pregnant women....those who look cute pregnant and those who look Whoa! pregnant and that I fell into the cute pregnant category. Yes, I did hug this person for saying that.

Then there's the flip side....the ones who feel the need to constantly tell me how big I am. Comments such as the following: "Wow you got huge!", "Are you sure you aren't due until January because you look ready now!", "Doesn't matter what you wear, you are pregnant and you are still going to look huge", "Aren't you uncomfortable being so big?", "You need to slow down on the eating or you will never be able to loose that weight", "This dessert is really good but judging from the looks of you, you need to lay off desserts" and my personal favorite "How dare she show up here in that condition". That last one I've heard at a few places, one of which being the gym. Uuummm...isn't that a great place for me to go "in this condition"? As I've pointed out before, I'm pregnant, not terminal, not Buddah and not without feelings. That being said, let me just point out that according to my doctors I am textbook with my weight gain so far and I eat the same as everyone else, 3 meals a day. To those who are offended when I show up to certain situations and places pregnant and how dare I: I'm so sorry. You see, I'm half Bahamian which means that time management is not my strongest quality. I am so focused on getting ready and getting out the door on time that it never fails...I get halfway to my destination and realize that I totally once again forgot to unpregnate myself! Nothing I can do about it at that point so I just carry on. I always swear to be better about it next time but I once again am always running late. I try to suck in the tummy but just hasn't seemed to work. I am making my promise to the public that I will work on it.

Another favorite category are the people who give me dietary advice. Everything from simple things such as don't eat shellfish, no alcohol, drink lots of water to the over the top such as the woman who took the time to scream at me for drinking a soda and not being a vegetarian. Seriously, she followed me out of a work meeting and screamed at me! I pointed out that my doctor told me I could have one to two caffinated drinks a day and it was fine. I also pointed out that I have maybe 2 caffinated sodas a week (other than that if I need the fizz I have ginger ale). She would not give up. Then she went into the vegan issue. I politely told her to each his own and I am not a fan of veggies, love my cheeseburgers and I'm not interested in being a vegan. Then she asked if I was going to have an all natural birth. My answer was "Hell No!". Oh boy. The lecture again started. Apparently I have not done my research, have no idea what the drugs given during childbirth will do to a baby and I am going to make a horrible mother if this is the choice I am already making. At this point I was about to loose it. I looked at her very intently and told her that I came from a generation where our mothers drank, smoked and even ate tuna fish while pregnant and I was fine so I didn't think my 2 sodas a week were going to do anything horrible to my baby. I also told her that God put those drugs on the earth for a purpose and I planned on accepting anything my nurses/doctors offered to me. Hell, if I had it my way I'd have a little starter pack for at home just to make sure I didn't miss out on any crucial windows of opportunity. I let her know that I fully intended to put my trust in the people who had medical degrees and deliver babies for a living. OMFG! Seriously??? Back off biotch! Ugh! Whatever!

I have also been told about different tricks to make sure the baby is a good sleeper, do/don't drink ____ to help with breastfeeding, that I'll never leave the house once I have a baby (why? I plan on getting the portable kind. Yes, it will take more work but I've seen babies out and about before), blah, blah, blah, Charlie Brown teacher. Then there are the people in my life such as my mom, Mr. 2g2bt's mom, friends, family who have actually honestly and openly answered questions for me. These I appreciate. I'm very lucky to have such a great support system and I know how blessed I am with that. So, to all of you who fall into this category, thank you. One friend even went with me to help me do my baby registry....she's pregnant with baby #3!

I'll leave you with my favorite piece of advice so far. It came from my cousin's little girl. She just turned 5 a little over a week ago. To say that Miss Munchkin is not shy is a huge understatement. After she asked me all sorts of questions such as how does the baby breathe? Is it dark in there for him? she looked at me very seriously and told me that I should drink milk because babies like milk. I told her that I do drink milk because I like it. However, that was really good advice. Then later she kind of killed her credibility when she asked me what his name is going to be. I asked her what she thought it should be and she said that I should name him because I'm the mommy. Then out of nowhere she very emphatically blurted out that his name should be Dopey. Yeah, she's off the baby naming committee. However, at least she cared enough to make a suggestion.

So, my opinionated readers...what's your advice to me? Clearly I can take it all...the good, the bad, the ugly and the WTF are you saying to me? It has been quite an experience and I've still got just over 2 months to go. I have heard everything from the truly heartfelt and out of love advice to the nosey stranger who seems to think they can just say whatever comes to mind. Since apparently baby brain has set in and there are days that I can't seem to form a complete thought much less a sentence out loud, I respond better on some days than on others. Remember the getting into the car on the wrong side incident? Well, tonight I discovered that a box of 2 light bulbs will survive a full cycle in the washing machine. No, I have no idea how they got in there.

Don't give up hope on my readers! One day I pray at least part of my brain will return. Until then, check back again to see what new and intriguing things the public at large has educated me on. Remember....for every martini you have, have an extra one for me since I can't!

Stupid Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women.....

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to write. I've been gathering my thoughts on this one for quite some time and wanted to make sure I got it all right or actually, I should say I've been gathering everyone else's thoughts for this one. Now, I have to warn you all that this may sound a bit like non-stop bitching and complaining so if you have a problem with that, you may want to stop reading now and check back in when I post again. You see I'm going to let you all in on the stupid shit people have been saying to me over the last few months. Now, as most couples do, we did not tell anyone about the pregnancy until we had reached the 12 week mark and everything was still looking good at the doctor's visits. Some say that is superstitous but we felt it was the right thing to do as there is so much that can go wrong early in a pregnancy. Then as you can imagine it took some time for me to actually look pregnant. Trust me though, when that kicked in, it really kicked in. In the first few weeks and months the most common things I heard were things such as "How are you going to have a baby?", "How can you afford to have a baby?", "Your place is so small, where are you going to put a baby?". Let's take a look at these: How? I figured the same way everyone else does. There really are only two options for how a baby will come out! My body pretty much does all of the cooking on it's own. I'm just along for the ride. Afford? How many people truly can afford to have a baby? Yes, there are the independently wealthy who don't even ever have to think the word budget much less put it to practice but for most of the population, it's all a struggle. You find a way to make it work. Yet are the same people who are questioning me out there questioning every pregnant woman they see? Maybe they are. If finances alone were a deciding factor in having a baby, the human race would end. Kids are freaking expensive and it doesn't end..ever! As for where are we going to put the new baby? I figured we'd keep him indoors. Newsflash..I know our place is crazy small and we don't have room for the adults, kids, pets or stuff that all live there now. I know we are tripping over each other and stuff non-stop. Fact is though, this baby is coming whether we have an extra bedroom or not! Oh and one more question: How is any of this anyone else's business? The constant onslaught of questions about these topics just heighten the fears and questions I've already had myself. I won't even get started on the people who feel the need to point out my age. Let's move on to the size comments. I won't tell you how much I've gained but I will tell you that it's way under 20lbs and my doctor says my weight gain is "textbook perfect". I've been very lucky that it's all belly. One seriously round belly. No doubt about that. You would not believe the things I have hear though. Some of my favorites are as follows: "Are you sure you aren't due until January? As big as you are I don't think they got that right.", "At least you weren't the mammoth size you are now in the middle of the summer.", "You must have a tough time getting clothes to fit as big as you are.", "We have dessert but given the size you already are, I doubt that you need dessert.", "Remember, what goes on must come off and at your age, it's not that easy so you might want to slow down the eating and not each as much.", "You are killing your baby by having that one soda", "What do you mean you are going to have drugs during the delivery? Even an epidural is harmful. You are going to be a horrible mother if those are the kinds of choices you are already making" and my favorite "Wow! Look at how huge you are!". Those are just a few. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on my size. People, I'm pregnant, not without feelings. We as women are taught from a very young age that skinny is beautiful, in shape is beautiful and I was before I got pregnant. However, take that mindset and suddenly have a body that is gaining weight no matter what you do plus some seriously messed up hormones. Yes, it is all for a good cause and I'm still able to exercise so I feel good but comments like these really mess with your mind and your feelings. I still cry at pretty much everything so add to it people constantly telling me I'm huge...yeah, Kleenex should send me thank you notes. Like I said...next time you encounter a pregnant woman, please keep in mind that she's self-conscious enough about her growing size, don't add to her insecurities. Tell her how great she looks. Trust me, it goes a long way. What I really don't get are the total strangers who make comments about my size. Why is this practice ok and when did that start? Then there are the belly rubbers. Oh yes, the belly rubbers. I personally have never understood this one bit however, I was prepared for it. I'm not a fan of it but I know people are going to do it. When family and close friends do it, for some reason it doesn't bother me. Hoever, when total strangers do it..that just creeps me out. I really don't get it. If you saw a stranger in the grocery store that wasn't pregnant, would you go rub her belly? Then why is it ok to do it to a pregnant woman? Again, I don't get it. Just to give you one example, I was walking in the gym when a man appeared out of nowhere and started rubbing my belly and said "I just love how a pregnant belly feels. What you are doing is so beautiful". I smiled politely and tried to keep walking....and so did he only he was still rubbing me! Finally, I just told him that I am not Buddah and he will not get any sort of good luck or extra wishes for rubbing me so to stop. He of course looked shocked that I would say such a thing and stomped away. Last I checked though, I still own this tummy! This has happened so many times that recently when I was at Fuku Restaurant in West Palm Beach I stood next to the giant Buddah and pointed out that I look nothing like him. Let's not forget the women who feel the need to tell me their personal horror stories. Stories of being on bedrest for months, hospitalized for weeks, birth defects, labor that lasted days, how bad childbirth hurts, etc. Like I need to hear this? Just incase I'm not scared enough. Oh and even my ultrasound tech at the doctor's office felt the need to tell me a story about a woman who she examined and had to tell her that her baby had no toes! No toes! She was telling me this while I was on the exam table. No woman wants to hear a story like that at that time. Really, we are all aware that these things can happen and that there are a million things that can go wrong at anytime but wouldn't it be more productive to offer encouragement to the preggo chick? Just a thought. Now it hasn't all been bad so I will leave you with a laugh. While it is still true that I am an emotional wreck and cry at pretty much everything and nothing, I do laugh at myself quite a bit too. For example, everytime I see my stomach jump I can't help but laugh. Yes, my back does hurt and this little one seems to hate my ribs but for some reason it's just a funny thing to see. There's another human in there! How freaky is that? The best thing so far was the day I got into my own car on the wrong side. Yep, I did that. I was leaving for work and in a rush (shocker, I know). I gathered all of my stuff for the day, went into the garage and climbed into my truck. I situated myself complete with seatbelt and waited..and waited..and waited...and couldn't figure out why nothing was happening. I mean, it was getting hot in there, the radio wasn't coming on and I wasn't going anywhere. I'm late! I've got to go! Then I realized that the car wasn't on. Yep, that's the problem. Can't go anywhere without the car on and to top it off the keys were still in my hand. I can fix that. So, I went to start the car and that's when I realized it...I was sitting in the passenger seat! What was I doing? Waiting for my chauffeur? Well, Mr. 2g2bt had the nerve to be at work that day so the chauffeur thing wasn't going to work out. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I tried to figure out if I could crawl over the center console so that no nosy neighbors wouldn't see me get out of the passenger side and back in the driver's side. I decided that this belly wasn't going to do that very gracefuly so better take my chances and just get out the same way I got in. I've heard about baby brain and had really hoped that it wouldn't get me too hard but I'm thinking that was the start to it all and it's here. So, if you are ever having a bad day just ask yourself if you got into the correct side of the car that morning. If you can say yes, then know that it can always be worse and feel free to have a laugh on me. Really, it's ok. I'm still laughing at myself over this one. The moral of all of this you may be asking? Well, people have no filters and a lot of them have no social graces. Pregnant women are not without feelings, we are emotional wrecks and your comments can cause us to cry all day, we are not Buddah and rubbing our bellies will not give you good luck and most importantly, remember that the left side of your car is actually the right side to be. Keep smiling and check back soon for more adventures in preggo land! This adventure is only starting.