To Snoop or not To Snoop??

Let me start by saying that my position on this issue is to never ever snoop. I recently did it for the first time and as expected it was not a good thing for either one of us. I have always felt that if you do snoop 9 times out of 10 whatever you find will be something that you will not be happy about and on top of it there's a good chance that whatever you are looking at is not what you think it is. Like I said, I did it for the first time and I'll never do it again.

This experience though got me to thinking about it all and of course that led me to asking all of my friends what they thought about this. It was very interesting. There is a definite gender split on this opinion. While all of my female friends agreed with me that I was wrong, every last one of them also added "but I would have done the same thing". All of my male friends on the other hand? Let's just say that they pretty much echoed the guy I snooped on. What cracked me up though was that they all had a snooping story and every last one they added that they were the ones who had something to hide and the real problem wasn't that she snooped but rather that they got caught.

Here's some of the comments I heard....Kevin pointed out that if I felt that I had to snoop then I'm with the wrong person. Interesting way to look at it and I'm sure in a lot of cases true. He also brought up the cell phone issue in saying that a guy with nothing to hide doesn't have a key lock activated on his cell and yet a guy who does have something to hide does. Hmmm.....he has a lock on his screen so what's going on there?

Another friend told me a story of a guy who was on a first date with a woman, left his phone in front of her while he went to the restroom, it rang and the caller ID showed "Baby Momma". Apparently she didn't know that such a person existed in his world and opted to not only end the date right then but left before he returned from the men's room. He was a bit confused...until he saw the call he missed. I'm not sure that really qualifies as snooping though since he left the phone and it rang.

So, what have we learned here? That I should have stuck with my orginal thoughts on snooping and never ever done it. I will never do it again! Once you throw crazy out there you just can't get it back. On the flip side: Guys...be up front from the start. If there's a baby momma, a current jail stint (yep, dated one of those), married to any of my friends (dated him too) or generally anything that may be concerning to her, tell her! Oh and maybe lock that phone.

Really guys...if you are gonna lie at least make it good one!

I know, it's been a long time since I've written. Sorry about that. Few things have been going on. Most recently I organized and hosted another fundraiser for Forgotten Soldiers Outreach (www.forogttensoldiers.org). It was a rainy night and yet we had a good crowd and raised quite a bit of money. Just in case working full time, writing, hosting speed dating parties and organizing fundraisers wasn't enough to keep me busy...I'm buying a small business. Yep, the self-confessed shoe addict is buying a personalized flip flop business. I'm excited. Funky Flopz & More will be open for sales any day now.

That's not why you read my words though, I know. You want to know the dirt. I went out Friday night with a friend from high school. After dinner and margaritas we headed to Blue Martini in CityPlace. This is where the stories really got started. We had a blast drinking, dancing and yes, talking to pretty much anyone who talked to us. No reason to be rude to anyone! There are three that stood out...first was a man who was at a table with a large group of both men and women. He came over, introduced himself to me and asked me to dance. Very nice so far. Then came a very angry woman who said "Bitch, I hope you don't mind if I steal my husband back". Mind you, she watched him walk over to me, talk to me and ask me to dance yet it took that long for her to do something about it. He spent the rest of the night trying to apologize to me and telling me she was drunk and not only are they not married but not even dating. I kept politely telling him that was fabulous but way too much drama for me to get involved in. She spent the rest of the night stalking me. Seriously, my friend and I thought for sure she was going to hurt me. I even made a friend's husband who was there promise to help if she came after me. Guys, if you are going to lie, pick a better lie. That one just wasn't cool.

Memorable man #2 was about 60 years old and kept telling me how cute my friend was. I kept suggesting to him that maybe he should tell her that instead of me. He kept telling us that he was the owner of Blue Martini. He stuck with this line for so long that I finally started asking him questions about the details of running a place like that. He didn't have an answer for any of it. Then I asked him to get us drinks. I went to the bar with him, he ordered, the bartender gave him the drinks...and then gave him a bill. Now, wouldn't the owner just be able to ask and be given the drinks? Wouldn't the bartenders recognize the owner and maybe smile at him? Again...if you are going to lie, don't pick one that can so easily be shot down.

Memorable man #3 didn't lie but he still stood out. He was a very nice 25 year old Columbian guy who danced with us for quite some time. He was fun but that really was where my friend and I intended to leave it. However, as we were leaving he asked me for my phone number. Here's the thing about me, when I drink and am single, I tend to be a serial phone number giver outer. I know. Bad. I get it. We weren't back in the car 10 minutes and he was texing already. He asked us for a threesome. Yeah, you read that right. Even after he didn't get a response to that request, he still continued to text me all last night. Again, didn't get a response.

Here's the shocking part of this all. Out of all of these guys, the one that is the most memorable of them all is the one who was 20 minutes away and volunteered to come save me from crazy stalker wife. He's the one I never saw coming and yet was willing to help. Here's you bigger lesson guys....tell the truth and always be honest. There may be a woman out there who never saw you entering her world but is pleasantly surprised that did.

Is the weekend really over already????

Hello Singletons. It's Sunday night, I hope that you had a fabulous weekend. Mine wasn't too bad, thanks for asking. Got to spend time with good friends, kids (one of which is my godson), family and celebrate a friend's upcoming birth of twins. Yep, it was an action packed weekend. Not much of a man weekend but that was ok.

Dinner last night with my friend, Sylvia, was good for some laughs. We had a parade of random men coming to our table to talk to us about basically nothing. It all started with our waiter. He was very nice and very chatty. He did have an excellent suggestion on an upgraded margarita. Thanks to him for that. However, he also kept coming back to ask how it was and have 10 minute conversations about them. Thought it was a bit odd but we rolled with it. He was nice. Then there was the guy that brought out our food and then asked me if I would mind if he came back in a few minutes to ask me what it tasted like. Uuummm....ok. This one sent Sylvia into a laughing fit. I swear she almost spit out her margarita (btw...thanks for not doing that). When he walked away her comment was "never a dull moment with you around, is it?". It was a strange evening. Did I mention the cutie who was sitting at the table behind us and seemed mesmerized staring at me but never said a word?

It was a good night out and we laughed....a lot...and I must highly recommend the Presidente Margarita at Chili's. However, it did just kind of reinforce the fact that I attract a strange breed of men. They were all very nice but each a bit on the odd side. While I can say with confidence that not one was the man the red panties are going to bring me, the attention was kind of nice and definitely gave us something to laugh at. Hmmm....maybe I need to move to Plantation and give the red panties a helping hand.

So maybe he wasn't the one the red panties are going to bring me..

Hello all! I know it's been quite some time since I've written and I apologize. See, I promised a friend of mine that I wouldn't write about a certain man that was temporarily in my life. However...he's gone so gloves off so to speak!

We will just call him Mr. Second Time Around. Yep, he's the one from Valentine's Day. Had a great 12 hour date and then poof! He was gone. Haven't seen him since and hear from him sporadically. I was really hurt and very depressed over it until I took a look back and realized....this is kinda the same thing that happened the last time we dated! I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's a pattern of his. Then I went through all of the usual...anger, hurt, exercising like crazy to take my mind off of it, called all my friends and bitched up a storm. You know the routine. We've all done it. Now I'm at the point where I say....not much for me to do about it so on to the next one? Anyone want to submit an application? The job is open.

So, while I have friends who are more than open to the second time around relationship but I've come to the conclusion that while I believe that everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance, maybe the second time around relationship may not be for me. I still believe in the power of the red panties and I've still got three quarters of the year left so again....feel free to apply if you think the position is for you! Looking for Mr. Red!

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

Hello fellow Singleton's! I hope that everyone had a fabulous Valentine's Day yesterday. I know I haven't written in a while but I started dating someone new and I promised a friend of mine that I wouldn't write about him....so I haven't. Guess what, I'm sort of kind of going to break that promise right now.

I had what was probably one of the best Valentine's Days yesterday that I've ever had. I've had some pretty great ones too. There was my college boyfriend who decorated the lounge in my dorm building to look like a fancy restaurant and cooked me dinner, the boyfriend who took me to Vegas the weekend before Valentine's Day and yet, yesterday was quite possibly better than both of those. You see, we spent the entire day together doing perfectly ordinary things and had a great time. Seriously. We went to the mall, to lunch, to the Garlic Fest in Delray, had a drink at Boston's, and ended the day with a movie from Blockbuster. Yes, he did give me roses and chocolate and a rhinestoned Miami Dolphins baseball cap (big points for that one in my world) but none of that compared to just spending the day together and having fun.

You may think I'm a bit off my stilettos on that one but think about it...it's pretty easy to have a good time with someone over a fancy dinner on a holiday. Don't get me wrong, I like that very much too but we just started dating. Valentine's Day presents a lot of unnecessary pressure to a budding romance. Plus, I think that if you can spend a day doing things like running errands and be perfectly happy doing it because you are with someone you really like, then that screams volumes. It's a really good sign of compatibility in my world. So, I think I'll keep running errands and laughing with my new man. So far, the red panties on New Year's Eve are still working their magic. Yeah, I know, it's just a superstition but seriously, who am I hurting?

Happy Groundhog Day!!!!

Welcome to February! According to Phil we have 6 more weeks of winter to look forward to. I live in South Florida so that doesn't really affect me too much. Anything below 70 degrees is considered winter here. Doesn't stop me from catching my usual winter sinus infection though. Yeah, you read that right, I'm home sick. Missed work and everything. That's not like me. Normally, I'm fine with the fact that I'm single but not today. Today, it sucks. This is one of those times when I wish that there was someone here to take care of me. Usually, I have a hard time allowing others to take care of me but not when I'm sick. When I'm sick I turn into a big baby and I want someone to bring me ice cream and shirley temples. Stop laughing! Everyone has their comfort foods/drinks when they get sick. Who are you to judge mine?

There's actually been a lot going on in my single world lately but I made a promise to a very good friend that I would not write about it and as much as it is killing me to not share it with all of you, so far I'm keeping that promise. Suffice it to say that there is someone that if I called and asked I think he might come over and pamper me but trust me, this is not a look that I need for him to see just yet.

So, what's the point of all of this other than for me to whine about being sick and single? Not much else. Just admitting that while I am fine with being single and enjoy the freedoms that it brings, there are times that having someone bring me ice cream and shirley temples would be nice too. Hmmm....maybe I should give in and make a phone call. Nah, I'll spare him that view...this time.

Seriously????

Ok, so I know I haven't written in a while. Not much has been going on. Typical things of working, going to the gym and spending time with family but nothing of much interest in the single world. Still not a whole lot going on but now I have a question I must share with the world....why do men continue to think it's ok to text at 3am? Really! Normally this isn't much of an issue in my world. This week however, I've gotten 3 such text messages and not all from the same man either! I thought I had deleted all of those men who considered me their back up plan. Guess I have some more deleting to do.

I don't want you to get the idea, I'm not one of those people who get mad if the phone rings after 10pm. I don't care if it rings in the middle of the night. I can always go back to sleep. There just should be a real purpose. You know, family emergency, friends in trouble, that special someone in your life who just can't get you off their mind, a call from overseas, things like that. Not hey we are at a bar come meet us. Especially not on a Wednesday night. I haven't heard from you in a week and that's when you think of me? No thanks, I have a full time job so therefore chances are good that at 3am on a weeknight I'm sleeping because I have to get up for work in a few hours. For some reason, there are still a group of men who find it acceptable to only contact a woman in the middle of the night to simply come meet them at a bar. While it's nice to be thought of, if you haven't thought of me at any other time and made an effort then you aren't making an effort now, you are still just putting me in your "maybe girl" category. Nah, doesn't fit into my New Year's Goal plan. I know I'm worth an effort and so is the person who will be special to me and I know I wouldn't wait to contact him until 3am.

Yes, I am a freak magnet

I was talking to a couple of my friends at work today about the men I have dated over the years. You might be wondering how this came up and think it's unusual chatter for a work environment. Not in my office. We have to talk about these things in an effort to stay sane. This conversation in particular started because I received a rather weak date invitation earlier today. It was a text that was something to the effect of "Try to come to the fair tonight and maybe meet me". I erased it so I can't tell you word for word but it was along those lines. Let me review this....Drive to the fair on opening night which we all know is very crowded. Fight the traffic to park, pay the admission and then once inside try to call and text you to find you so that then our date can begin. Yeah, gonna pass on that. Now had I been asked to go with someone to the fair might have been a different story. You know, ride together, go in together, walk the fair together, etc. Like a date.

Anywhoo.....this conversation I had with my co-workers was with one female friend and one male friend. Both have twisted senses of humor like I do so pretty much anything goes and that's fine by me. So, after catching our male friend (we do have a nickname for him but I'll leave that out because there is a chance he will read this) up on the conversation he looked at me and said "How do you find these people?". So true and such a good question. This lead into a conversation about some of the highlights. I'll give you just a few.

There was the guy who told me over appetizers that he was still in jail. Yeah, you read that right. He was on work release and at the tail end of the sentence but jail none the less. Oddly enough it was a really good date and that wasn't the reason I stopped seeing him. It was on our second date when pretty much out of no where he unzipped his pants and shall we say put a present in my hand. Yeah, then looked at me like I was the one in the wrong. That was enough of him for me. Shame too, he seemed really nice. Oh and he's out now in case anyone is wondering.

There was the guy that on our first date gave me the rules to being with him and went through a list of what needed to change with me if our "relationship was going to continue". Uh-huh. I did my best to put him in his place...for like 2 hours...but when I could see that it wasn't going to go anywhere good I ditched him. When he figured it out he actually came back. At that point I was chatting with the bartender who also happened to be a friend of mine. He didn't like that, screamed at me and demanded his $5 tip back. Yeah. My friend gave him double the tip back and told him not to come back.

Then there was the guy who got mad at me because I wanted to stay at the bar that we were at to watch a football game. May I add that it was a private party we were at with all of my friend, free food and free drinks!!!! So, we left. Later in the night we were sitting at a bar and a total stranger at the other end of the bar had a Channel purse. Wouldn't think this was a problem would you? Oh but apparently it was. My date started talking about how much it cost and how crazy that was. I thought he was kidding until he started screaming at me about it and about materialism and shallowness. The more he yelled, the harder I laughed which just got him angrier. It got to the point where I left and the bouncers stopped him when he tried to chase me down in the parking lot.

There have been others along the way such as the lilipucian, the guy who showed up to my house with a back pack and pulled a bong and a bag of weed out of it (call him Have Bong Will Travel), the guy who was tatooed and pierced like crazy that my cat and my rabbit tried to kill (he left me alone watching football while wearing a bikini so he could take his cat to the mall to see Santa), the guy who was engaged but wanted to take me out because "afterall you have to keep your options open", and the list goes on. So yeah, as my friend today pointed out I am a freak magnet. I'm currently searching for a cure so if you know of one, please, let me know. I'm ready have a good and normal dating story to tell!

So far so good.....

So, did you make any New Year's Resolutions? I call mine New Year's Goals. I think that by calling it a resolution it's something I subconsciously expect to accomplish right away and all at once. A goal however, is something that I can work towards, understand that it takes time and effort and be very proud of myself when I reach it. One of my New Year's Goals for 2010 was to eliminate all of the people, places, relationships, etc. that I just know are not good for me. Whether it be that they make me feel sad, bad about myself, play stupid games, are not the friends to me that they expect me to be to them (and I am because I'm just like that), or hurt my feelings on a regular basis...they needed to go. In other words, people places, relationships that are toxic in my life.

It started New Year's Eve. My phone started blowing up with texts from guys I haven't heard from in months. You know what I'm talking about. All single ladies out there have them. They are the guys who tell you how fabulous you are and yet only seem to appear every few months only to disappear just as quickly. In other words, they make contact just enough to make sure you don't forget them but don't have a enough of an interest in you to actually date you. You are their "just in case" girl. The one they call when they don't have any others around. No thank you. I deserve better than that so right then and there I decided it was time to stop the cycle. I had a deletion ceremony as the countdown to 2010 began and one by one deleted all of those disappearing/reappearing guys. Now, if I don't recognize the number, I don't answer. If they really want to talk to me, they will either sign the text or leave a message when they call.

My next light bulb moment was this past Friday. I had some family drama going on and I was very worried and extremely upset. My bestest good friend, Tricia was right there with a message (she was out of town), another friend stayed up late to talk to me by text until he was sure I was calmed down and doing ok. I can't tell you how much this meant to me. Some others though. All I can say is "Wow"! One sent a text asking what was wrong. I sent her an email because it was just way too much to type....still haven't heard a word from her. Again, wow. I've done a lot of hand holding and tear catching with her so I was really surprised. 2 other friends that I called in a crying mess have yet to call me back. Again, wow. I understand that it's in my nature to try to take care of everyone I care about but when I'm the one that needs the comforting, it's nice to know that I can ask for it and get a positive response. Sooooo...these would be the toxic relationships. I've lived and learned there. As for those who helped me. You will never know how much it means to me to have you to lean on and know that you will all listen to me.

So, what will the rest of the year bring my way? It's kind of exciting to think about. I'm thankful that so far I've been strong enough to stick to my New Year's Goal but as I said before, it's a process and I only hope that my strength continues. It's been very liberating and freeing so far. I've decided that it's time to stop worrying about everyone else and to stop running myself ragged putting my own desires and needs aside and do what makes me happy and look out for myself. In the end, it will make me a happier and healthier person and that will trickle down to those around me. So, bring on 2010!

Could it be that the red panties are working their magic?

As you all know I took a chance on New Year's Eve and wore red panties when I went to sleep. For those of you who didn't read my last post...1)welcome! and 2) why didn't you read it?......there is a superstition that if it is love/romance that you are wanting to come your way in the new year, wear red panties when you go to sleep on New Year's Eve. If it is financial prosperity that you want to come your way, then wear yellow. Not that I don't need the financial prosperity but I went for the red. Actually, they were a gift form a couple of friends who only want the best for me so they gave me some fancy schmancy ones. I wore them proudly.

Now it is 4 days into the new year and unfortunately, I had to go back to work today after 10 days off. Like I said...it's not that I don't need financial prosperity. Given the extreme cold us South Floridians are currently enjoying, I was able to pull out some winter clothes I don't normally have the opportunity to wear. Also thanks to the cold, there's no humidity so it was a very good hair day. I was looking way cute if I do say so myself.

For those of you who remember my saga with Jeepman this will be especially funny to you. As I was getting out of my car, he pulled into the space right next to me and almost ran from his Jeep to the door. Didn't even push the door extra hard so it stayed open for me much less hold it. He knew I was right behind them. I had on high heeled boots! They make noise, aside from the fact that he freakin saw me. Not even a polite nod or smile or simple hello. So rude, immature and definitely uncalled for. Seriously dude, I don't want you and haven't in a very long time and never will!!! Being polite is not going to cause me to stalk you or anything! You were banished from my kingdom a very long time ago! Be an adult about it all. Again...I will never go out with you again so have no fear of smiling my dear. Anywhoo, I laughed it off, called my sister to tell her, and moved on with my day.

It was an average day work wise. I was in a really good mood for some reason. Not normal for me at work. I got a very nice compliment from a guy friend of mine...who coincidentally works with Jeepman. The compliment definitely made me smile. Come on ladies, we all know that a sincere compliment can brighten our day. Then, I went to the gym and worked out with my trainer. Let's just say I am not a pro at any of this weight training stuff. I get tired, things get really heavy, I'm a sweaty mess but that's all part of the process to improve the body both inside and out. After it was all done and I was sent off to the treadmill to do my cardio I noticed a cutie running on the treadmill next to me....only he was watching me! Me! Sweaty, praying not to die in the gym, me! Woo-hoo! Go me! If he likes what he saw tonight, trust me, it only gets better after a shower and some shampoo...and make up....and cute shoes.

Could it be that the tides are turning? Could it be that the red panties of NYE are working their magic? I know, attitude is everything but if I choose to believe in the power of the red panties, who am I hurting? Stay tuned for future updates!