Advice I Have Been Given......

I am going to be nice and call what follows as advice. You are free to form your own opinion. I will state upfront that I do not consider all of it advice. A lot of it I would say falls into the previous post of Stupid Shit People Say To Pregnant Women. Again, you can form your own opinion and please, feel free to let me know your thoughts.

As I went over in the previous post, there are a ton of people who ever since I announced the pregnancy have felt the need to tell me nothing but negative crap. Things like how will you guys afford a baby? Where will you put it since your place is so small? Aren't you worried about your age being a factor? (These are people that I no longer talk to) How will Mr. 2g2bt's kids react? Blah, blah, blah. At this point I just smile and in my head hear the voice of the Charlie Brown teacher. Bite me is all I really can say to these people. Those are things for us to figure out and the rest of you to not be concerned with. It will all work because we love each other, we will find a way to make it work and it has to work out!

Now the people that I really like hearing advice from are the ones that tell me that I look like I'm loosing weight and I need to eat more. These are my fav peeps to talk to. I'm at 7 months now and I've gained less than 20 lbs. However, it is seriously all belly. I really think it's being sucked from other parts of my body, especially my face according to Mr. 2g2bt, and put in my belly. I'm ok with that. I was told just this week that there are two types of pregnant women....those who look cute pregnant and those who look Whoa! pregnant and that I fell into the cute pregnant category. Yes, I did hug this person for saying that.

Then there's the flip side....the ones who feel the need to constantly tell me how big I am. Comments such as the following: "Wow you got huge!", "Are you sure you aren't due until January because you look ready now!", "Doesn't matter what you wear, you are pregnant and you are still going to look huge", "Aren't you uncomfortable being so big?", "You need to slow down on the eating or you will never be able to loose that weight", "This dessert is really good but judging from the looks of you, you need to lay off desserts" and my personal favorite "How dare she show up here in that condition". That last one I've heard at a few places, one of which being the gym. Uuummm...isn't that a great place for me to go "in this condition"? As I've pointed out before, I'm pregnant, not terminal, not Buddah and not without feelings. That being said, let me just point out that according to my doctors I am textbook with my weight gain so far and I eat the same as everyone else, 3 meals a day. To those who are offended when I show up to certain situations and places pregnant and how dare I: I'm so sorry. You see, I'm half Bahamian which means that time management is not my strongest quality. I am so focused on getting ready and getting out the door on time that it never fails...I get halfway to my destination and realize that I totally once again forgot to unpregnate myself! Nothing I can do about it at that point so I just carry on. I always swear to be better about it next time but I once again am always running late. I try to suck in the tummy but just hasn't seemed to work. I am making my promise to the public that I will work on it.

Another favorite category are the people who give me dietary advice. Everything from simple things such as don't eat shellfish, no alcohol, drink lots of water to the over the top such as the woman who took the time to scream at me for drinking a soda and not being a vegetarian. Seriously, she followed me out of a work meeting and screamed at me! I pointed out that my doctor told me I could have one to two caffinated drinks a day and it was fine. I also pointed out that I have maybe 2 caffinated sodas a week (other than that if I need the fizz I have ginger ale). She would not give up. Then she went into the vegan issue. I politely told her to each his own and I am not a fan of veggies, love my cheeseburgers and I'm not interested in being a vegan. Then she asked if I was going to have an all natural birth. My answer was "Hell No!". Oh boy. The lecture again started. Apparently I have not done my research, have no idea what the drugs given during childbirth will do to a baby and I am going to make a horrible mother if this is the choice I am already making. At this point I was about to loose it. I looked at her very intently and told her that I came from a generation where our mothers drank, smoked and even ate tuna fish while pregnant and I was fine so I didn't think my 2 sodas a week were going to do anything horrible to my baby. I also told her that God put those drugs on the earth for a purpose and I planned on accepting anything my nurses/doctors offered to me. Hell, if I had it my way I'd have a little starter pack for at home just to make sure I didn't miss out on any crucial windows of opportunity. I let her know that I fully intended to put my trust in the people who had medical degrees and deliver babies for a living. OMFG! Seriously??? Back off biotch! Ugh! Whatever!

I have also been told about different tricks to make sure the baby is a good sleeper, do/don't drink ____ to help with breastfeeding, that I'll never leave the house once I have a baby (why? I plan on getting the portable kind. Yes, it will take more work but I've seen babies out and about before), blah, blah, blah, Charlie Brown teacher. Then there are the people in my life such as my mom, Mr. 2g2bt's mom, friends, family who have actually honestly and openly answered questions for me. These I appreciate. I'm very lucky to have such a great support system and I know how blessed I am with that. So, to all of you who fall into this category, thank you. One friend even went with me to help me do my baby registry....she's pregnant with baby #3!

I'll leave you with my favorite piece of advice so far. It came from my cousin's little girl. She just turned 5 a little over a week ago. To say that Miss Munchkin is not shy is a huge understatement. After she asked me all sorts of questions such as how does the baby breathe? Is it dark in there for him? she looked at me very seriously and told me that I should drink milk because babies like milk. I told her that I do drink milk because I like it. However, that was really good advice. Then later she kind of killed her credibility when she asked me what his name is going to be. I asked her what she thought it should be and she said that I should name him because I'm the mommy. Then out of nowhere she very emphatically blurted out that his name should be Dopey. Yeah, she's off the baby naming committee. However, at least she cared enough to make a suggestion.

So, my opinionated readers...what's your advice to me? Clearly I can take it all...the good, the bad, the ugly and the WTF are you saying to me? It has been quite an experience and I've still got just over 2 months to go. I have heard everything from the truly heartfelt and out of love advice to the nosey stranger who seems to think they can just say whatever comes to mind. Since apparently baby brain has set in and there are days that I can't seem to form a complete thought much less a sentence out loud, I respond better on some days than on others. Remember the getting into the car on the wrong side incident? Well, tonight I discovered that a box of 2 light bulbs will survive a full cycle in the washing machine. No, I have no idea how they got in there.

Don't give up hope on my readers! One day I pray at least part of my brain will return. Until then, check back again to see what new and intriguing things the public at large has educated me on. Remember....for every martini you have, have an extra one for me since I can't!

Silly Boys....tricks are for kids

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I've spent the last 3 days sick. I've gone to work and then right home either to the couch or the bed. Couldn't go to the gym. Couldn't help out with any of the Christmas preparations with the family. Couldn't eat. Couldn't do anything. It was one heck of a diet plan but that's not exactly the right way to go about it. During all of this sick time, I've done a lot of thinking. I know that most people do their reflecting at New Year's but not me. I do it at Christmas. Makes more sense to me. Why make a bunch of resolutions that you know you aren't going to keep? Think I'm kidding? Drive by any gym right after January 1st and then again a few weeks later. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Back to my year.....It's been an interesting year in my dating world. Had some really good times and some sucky times. Let's take a moment to reflect on some of the "Seriously?!!" moments. There was a jeep. Inside that jeep was a boy. A hot boy. I took a chance and left a note. Jeep boy responded to the note. Had about 4 or 5 dates and really connected and poof!!! He was gone. Totally changed personalities. To this day nobody can figure out why he hates me so much out and why it came out of nowhere. At this point it's just funny and on ongoing inside joke among my friends. Suffice it to say, boy has issues. Uses his job as an excuse for everything. That brings me to another stand out date of the past year. I went out with jeep boy's co-worker. Funny how they work on the same projects yet his friend has time for a social life. Like I said..issues. Anywhoo...went to a hockey game with his co-worker and had a great time! Seriously, the best date all year long. We had so much fun! Then a week or so later he hung out with my friends. Another friend had a chit chat with him and he took it as pressure. She told me what she said and even though he told me that he ignores everything other people say and makes up his own mind, he pulled a disappearing act too. Again...Seriously??!! Ok. Live and learn. On the low side of the dating year, there was the ex-boyfriend who out of nowhere started emailing me and invited me to go to the Keys with him while his wife and child were out of town. No! I didn't go!! I refuse to get involved in anyone's drama. His wife still felt the need to come after me and call me "the other woman" even though I haven't seen my ex in years! I finally told her to leave me alone or I would get a restraining order.

Here's a freebie tip to men out there...in the day of instant technology, don't try to hide anything from a girl. We will find out. Guaranteed. Most specifically, get rid of your girlfriend/wife before dating someone else. Really! When you are in a relationship, that means you are with that one person. That's it.While we are on that topic, watch what you put on Facebook because we will see it. If you are single, you put single for your status. You do not put married, in a relationship or it's complicated. If it's complicated, why do you think I want to be involved? Do not have your profile pic be of you and your girlfriend and then try to say you don't have one. Or do, it does make our lives easier.

I know that there is a common misconception that a single person's life is carefree, we have nothing to worry about and an abundance of extra funds in the bank. That our lives are a non-stop party. Not true. Especially with the finances. The bills are all ours. No second income to fall back on if there's just one person living in the house. This year also had some sad moments that had to be faced. My uncle died a few days before Father's Day. My mom's uncle is dying as I write this. My best friend's brother-in-law died earlier this year. That one was especially hard to take. I've known him since high school and he was only a year older than me. It was very tragic. Situations like those teach you just how fragile life is and that we must appreciate each and every moment that we get.

So, 2009 was year full of interesting situations, sad times, "did that just happen" moments, laughs, tears, fights and fun. I'm looking forward to 2010 and hoping that the universe gives me the chance for a big huge do over! Hug your family and remember that friends are the family that you get to choose.