Advice I Have Been Given......

I am going to be nice and call what follows as advice. You are free to form your own opinion. I will state upfront that I do not consider all of it advice. A lot of it I would say falls into the previous post of Stupid Shit People Say To Pregnant Women. Again, you can form your own opinion and please, feel free to let me know your thoughts.

As I went over in the previous post, there are a ton of people who ever since I announced the pregnancy have felt the need to tell me nothing but negative crap. Things like how will you guys afford a baby? Where will you put it since your place is so small? Aren't you worried about your age being a factor? (These are people that I no longer talk to) How will Mr. 2g2bt's kids react? Blah, blah, blah. At this point I just smile and in my head hear the voice of the Charlie Brown teacher. Bite me is all I really can say to these people. Those are things for us to figure out and the rest of you to not be concerned with. It will all work because we love each other, we will find a way to make it work and it has to work out!

Now the people that I really like hearing advice from are the ones that tell me that I look like I'm loosing weight and I need to eat more. These are my fav peeps to talk to. I'm at 7 months now and I've gained less than 20 lbs. However, it is seriously all belly. I really think it's being sucked from other parts of my body, especially my face according to Mr. 2g2bt, and put in my belly. I'm ok with that. I was told just this week that there are two types of pregnant women....those who look cute pregnant and those who look Whoa! pregnant and that I fell into the cute pregnant category. Yes, I did hug this person for saying that.

Then there's the flip side....the ones who feel the need to constantly tell me how big I am. Comments such as the following: "Wow you got huge!", "Are you sure you aren't due until January because you look ready now!", "Doesn't matter what you wear, you are pregnant and you are still going to look huge", "Aren't you uncomfortable being so big?", "You need to slow down on the eating or you will never be able to loose that weight", "This dessert is really good but judging from the looks of you, you need to lay off desserts" and my personal favorite "How dare she show up here in that condition". That last one I've heard at a few places, one of which being the gym. Uuummm...isn't that a great place for me to go "in this condition"? As I've pointed out before, I'm pregnant, not terminal, not Buddah and not without feelings. That being said, let me just point out that according to my doctors I am textbook with my weight gain so far and I eat the same as everyone else, 3 meals a day. To those who are offended when I show up to certain situations and places pregnant and how dare I: I'm so sorry. You see, I'm half Bahamian which means that time management is not my strongest quality. I am so focused on getting ready and getting out the door on time that it never fails...I get halfway to my destination and realize that I totally once again forgot to unpregnate myself! Nothing I can do about it at that point so I just carry on. I always swear to be better about it next time but I once again am always running late. I try to suck in the tummy but just hasn't seemed to work. I am making my promise to the public that I will work on it.

Another favorite category are the people who give me dietary advice. Everything from simple things such as don't eat shellfish, no alcohol, drink lots of water to the over the top such as the woman who took the time to scream at me for drinking a soda and not being a vegetarian. Seriously, she followed me out of a work meeting and screamed at me! I pointed out that my doctor told me I could have one to two caffinated drinks a day and it was fine. I also pointed out that I have maybe 2 caffinated sodas a week (other than that if I need the fizz I have ginger ale). She would not give up. Then she went into the vegan issue. I politely told her to each his own and I am not a fan of veggies, love my cheeseburgers and I'm not interested in being a vegan. Then she asked if I was going to have an all natural birth. My answer was "Hell No!". Oh boy. The lecture again started. Apparently I have not done my research, have no idea what the drugs given during childbirth will do to a baby and I am going to make a horrible mother if this is the choice I am already making. At this point I was about to loose it. I looked at her very intently and told her that I came from a generation where our mothers drank, smoked and even ate tuna fish while pregnant and I was fine so I didn't think my 2 sodas a week were going to do anything horrible to my baby. I also told her that God put those drugs on the earth for a purpose and I planned on accepting anything my nurses/doctors offered to me. Hell, if I had it my way I'd have a little starter pack for at home just to make sure I didn't miss out on any crucial windows of opportunity. I let her know that I fully intended to put my trust in the people who had medical degrees and deliver babies for a living. OMFG! Seriously??? Back off biotch! Ugh! Whatever!

I have also been told about different tricks to make sure the baby is a good sleeper, do/don't drink ____ to help with breastfeeding, that I'll never leave the house once I have a baby (why? I plan on getting the portable kind. Yes, it will take more work but I've seen babies out and about before), blah, blah, blah, Charlie Brown teacher. Then there are the people in my life such as my mom, Mr. 2g2bt's mom, friends, family who have actually honestly and openly answered questions for me. These I appreciate. I'm very lucky to have such a great support system and I know how blessed I am with that. So, to all of you who fall into this category, thank you. One friend even went with me to help me do my baby registry....she's pregnant with baby #3!

I'll leave you with my favorite piece of advice so far. It came from my cousin's little girl. She just turned 5 a little over a week ago. To say that Miss Munchkin is not shy is a huge understatement. After she asked me all sorts of questions such as how does the baby breathe? Is it dark in there for him? she looked at me very seriously and told me that I should drink milk because babies like milk. I told her that I do drink milk because I like it. However, that was really good advice. Then later she kind of killed her credibility when she asked me what his name is going to be. I asked her what she thought it should be and she said that I should name him because I'm the mommy. Then out of nowhere she very emphatically blurted out that his name should be Dopey. Yeah, she's off the baby naming committee. However, at least she cared enough to make a suggestion.

So, my opinionated readers...what's your advice to me? Clearly I can take it all...the good, the bad, the ugly and the WTF are you saying to me? It has been quite an experience and I've still got just over 2 months to go. I have heard everything from the truly heartfelt and out of love advice to the nosey stranger who seems to think they can just say whatever comes to mind. Since apparently baby brain has set in and there are days that I can't seem to form a complete thought much less a sentence out loud, I respond better on some days than on others. Remember the getting into the car on the wrong side incident? Well, tonight I discovered that a box of 2 light bulbs will survive a full cycle in the washing machine. No, I have no idea how they got in there.

Don't give up hope on my readers! One day I pray at least part of my brain will return. Until then, check back again to see what new and intriguing things the public at large has educated me on. Remember....for every martini you have, have an extra one for me since I can't!

Stupid Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women.....

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to write. I've been gathering my thoughts on this one for quite some time and wanted to make sure I got it all right or actually, I should say I've been gathering everyone else's thoughts for this one. Now, I have to warn you all that this may sound a bit like non-stop bitching and complaining so if you have a problem with that, you may want to stop reading now and check back in when I post again. You see I'm going to let you all in on the stupid shit people have been saying to me over the last few months. Now, as most couples do, we did not tell anyone about the pregnancy until we had reached the 12 week mark and everything was still looking good at the doctor's visits. Some say that is superstitous but we felt it was the right thing to do as there is so much that can go wrong early in a pregnancy. Then as you can imagine it took some time for me to actually look pregnant. Trust me though, when that kicked in, it really kicked in. In the first few weeks and months the most common things I heard were things such as "How are you going to have a baby?", "How can you afford to have a baby?", "Your place is so small, where are you going to put a baby?". Let's take a look at these: How? I figured the same way everyone else does. There really are only two options for how a baby will come out! My body pretty much does all of the cooking on it's own. I'm just along for the ride. Afford? How many people truly can afford to have a baby? Yes, there are the independently wealthy who don't even ever have to think the word budget much less put it to practice but for most of the population, it's all a struggle. You find a way to make it work. Yet are the same people who are questioning me out there questioning every pregnant woman they see? Maybe they are. If finances alone were a deciding factor in having a baby, the human race would end. Kids are freaking expensive and it doesn't end..ever! As for where are we going to put the new baby? I figured we'd keep him indoors. Newsflash..I know our place is crazy small and we don't have room for the adults, kids, pets or stuff that all live there now. I know we are tripping over each other and stuff non-stop. Fact is though, this baby is coming whether we have an extra bedroom or not! Oh and one more question: How is any of this anyone else's business? The constant onslaught of questions about these topics just heighten the fears and questions I've already had myself. I won't even get started on the people who feel the need to point out my age. Let's move on to the size comments. I won't tell you how much I've gained but I will tell you that it's way under 20lbs and my doctor says my weight gain is "textbook perfect". I've been very lucky that it's all belly. One seriously round belly. No doubt about that. You would not believe the things I have hear though. Some of my favorites are as follows: "Are you sure you aren't due until January? As big as you are I don't think they got that right.", "At least you weren't the mammoth size you are now in the middle of the summer.", "You must have a tough time getting clothes to fit as big as you are.", "We have dessert but given the size you already are, I doubt that you need dessert.", "Remember, what goes on must come off and at your age, it's not that easy so you might want to slow down the eating and not each as much.", "You are killing your baby by having that one soda", "What do you mean you are going to have drugs during the delivery? Even an epidural is harmful. You are going to be a horrible mother if those are the kinds of choices you are already making" and my favorite "Wow! Look at how huge you are!". Those are just a few. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on my size. People, I'm pregnant, not without feelings. We as women are taught from a very young age that skinny is beautiful, in shape is beautiful and I was before I got pregnant. However, take that mindset and suddenly have a body that is gaining weight no matter what you do plus some seriously messed up hormones. Yes, it is all for a good cause and I'm still able to exercise so I feel good but comments like these really mess with your mind and your feelings. I still cry at pretty much everything so add to it people constantly telling me I'm huge...yeah, Kleenex should send me thank you notes. Like I said...next time you encounter a pregnant woman, please keep in mind that she's self-conscious enough about her growing size, don't add to her insecurities. Tell her how great she looks. Trust me, it goes a long way. What I really don't get are the total strangers who make comments about my size. Why is this practice ok and when did that start? Then there are the belly rubbers. Oh yes, the belly rubbers. I personally have never understood this one bit however, I was prepared for it. I'm not a fan of it but I know people are going to do it. When family and close friends do it, for some reason it doesn't bother me. Hoever, when total strangers do it..that just creeps me out. I really don't get it. If you saw a stranger in the grocery store that wasn't pregnant, would you go rub her belly? Then why is it ok to do it to a pregnant woman? Again, I don't get it. Just to give you one example, I was walking in the gym when a man appeared out of nowhere and started rubbing my belly and said "I just love how a pregnant belly feels. What you are doing is so beautiful". I smiled politely and tried to keep walking....and so did he only he was still rubbing me! Finally, I just told him that I am not Buddah and he will not get any sort of good luck or extra wishes for rubbing me so to stop. He of course looked shocked that I would say such a thing and stomped away. Last I checked though, I still own this tummy! This has happened so many times that recently when I was at Fuku Restaurant in West Palm Beach I stood next to the giant Buddah and pointed out that I look nothing like him. Let's not forget the women who feel the need to tell me their personal horror stories. Stories of being on bedrest for months, hospitalized for weeks, birth defects, labor that lasted days, how bad childbirth hurts, etc. Like I need to hear this? Just incase I'm not scared enough. Oh and even my ultrasound tech at the doctor's office felt the need to tell me a story about a woman who she examined and had to tell her that her baby had no toes! No toes! She was telling me this while I was on the exam table. No woman wants to hear a story like that at that time. Really, we are all aware that these things can happen and that there are a million things that can go wrong at anytime but wouldn't it be more productive to offer encouragement to the preggo chick? Just a thought. Now it hasn't all been bad so I will leave you with a laugh. While it is still true that I am an emotional wreck and cry at pretty much everything and nothing, I do laugh at myself quite a bit too. For example, everytime I see my stomach jump I can't help but laugh. Yes, my back does hurt and this little one seems to hate my ribs but for some reason it's just a funny thing to see. There's another human in there! How freaky is that? The best thing so far was the day I got into my own car on the wrong side. Yep, I did that. I was leaving for work and in a rush (shocker, I know). I gathered all of my stuff for the day, went into the garage and climbed into my truck. I situated myself complete with seatbelt and waited..and waited..and waited...and couldn't figure out why nothing was happening. I mean, it was getting hot in there, the radio wasn't coming on and I wasn't going anywhere. I'm late! I've got to go! Then I realized that the car wasn't on. Yep, that's the problem. Can't go anywhere without the car on and to top it off the keys were still in my hand. I can fix that. So, I went to start the car and that's when I realized it...I was sitting in the passenger seat! What was I doing? Waiting for my chauffeur? Well, Mr. 2g2bt had the nerve to be at work that day so the chauffeur thing wasn't going to work out. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I tried to figure out if I could crawl over the center console so that no nosy neighbors wouldn't see me get out of the passenger side and back in the driver's side. I decided that this belly wasn't going to do that very gracefuly so better take my chances and just get out the same way I got in. I've heard about baby brain and had really hoped that it wouldn't get me too hard but I'm thinking that was the start to it all and it's here. So, if you are ever having a bad day just ask yourself if you got into the correct side of the car that morning. If you can say yes, then know that it can always be worse and feel free to have a laugh on me. Really, it's ok. I'm still laughing at myself over this one. The moral of all of this you may be asking? Well, people have no filters and a lot of them have no social graces. Pregnant women are not without feelings, we are emotional wrecks and your comments can cause us to cry all day, we are not Buddah and rubbing our bellies will not give you good luck and most importantly, remember that the left side of your car is actually the right side to be. Keep smiling and check back soon for more adventures in preggo land! This adventure is only starting.

Yes, he put a ring on it!

Yes, boys and girls, Mr. 2g2bt put a ring on it. As I said in my last post we had already decided that we were going to get married but we didn't have an actual plan for it yet except that it would be sometime next year. We talked about next fall. Well, last week for 3 days he started singing the "I know something you don't know" song. No, really...it's an actual song and he even had a dance for it. Actually, 2 dances for it. Al lhe would tell me is that it was something I was going to love. 3 days I had to hear this...by text, in person, in the morning, in the night, you name it. I kept listening to everything he said very closely. He mentioned that he would tell me the information on Friday evening. Ok, so it's info, not an object. That narrows it down a bit. Maybe we were going out of town? Maybe he got tickets to the Dolphins game? He knows I want to go to one before baby gets here. Maybe he has info about us moving? Who knows! My mind was working overtime coming up with scenarios. Then Friday night came. I went to a fundraiser meeting and when I got home as soon as I walked in the door I heard the song "I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know" over and over again. I get to the table where he's sitting and there are flowers and a note telling me that the something he knows is in the bathroom. Ok, this works out well since I had a very large iced tea at the meeting and at 6 months pregnant the bathroom is somewhere I frequent a lot. So, I go into the bathroom and there's another note sending me to the other bathroom. As you guessed it, there I found another note. This one telling me that it is behind the laundry room door. Ugh! Now it was killing me...and I stil had to pee. Then the note in the laundry room said to look under my pillow. Ok, this has to be where I'll find my surprise. Nope, that note said that my surprise was back where I started by my flowers and I must not have seen it there when I started. So, I go back to the table and now instead of the orignal note, there's a very pretty box under my flowers and Mr. 2g2bt has a huge grin. I opened the box and there was my ring. My very sparkly pretty ring. No, it's not celebrity size, print in the tabloids ring but it's mine. The best part? He actually took it from me, got on one knee and asked me to marry him. After all of the non-traditional things we've done, he actually got on one knee and asked. I cried a little but I think I did a good job of covering that. So, now it's official. We are engaged. Wait, we were before too. Ok, so now I have something very sparkly to look at every day that tells the world we are engaged. Something that makes me smile everytime I see it because he took the time to pick it out, go buy it, create a scavenger hunt for me and he got on one knee all because he loves me. Yep, me...Miss Cynical about relationships just said all of that. Told you he was Mr. 2g2bt. Told you this journey was far from over. I'm in it and I'm still being surprised. Even I have no idea what to expect next. Well, one thing I do know for sure, there's a smaller version of the two of us cooking away and I decided I am going to go get a pedicure one of these days. Maybe next Friday, seems like a worthy day. Ok, so I guess there's 2 things I know for sure to expect. Once again, the moral of this story? Do not forget about the boy you meet at age 4 while you are playing t-ball and always go to your high school reunion. You just have no idea where it can take your life. Thanks again for that, Tricia. You rock! I guess I'm technically not a singleton but you know that I am always going to be one of the original singletons so ladies (and gentlemen) raise your martini glasses and until at least January, have an extra one for me! Stay tuned....who knows what will happen next!

Seriously????

Ok, so I know I haven't written in a while. Not much has been going on. Typical things of working, going to the gym and spending time with family but nothing of much interest in the single world. Still not a whole lot going on but now I have a question I must share with the world....why do men continue to think it's ok to text at 3am? Really! Normally this isn't much of an issue in my world. This week however, I've gotten 3 such text messages and not all from the same man either! I thought I had deleted all of those men who considered me their back up plan. Guess I have some more deleting to do.

I don't want you to get the idea, I'm not one of those people who get mad if the phone rings after 10pm. I don't care if it rings in the middle of the night. I can always go back to sleep. There just should be a real purpose. You know, family emergency, friends in trouble, that special someone in your life who just can't get you off their mind, a call from overseas, things like that. Not hey we are at a bar come meet us. Especially not on a Wednesday night. I haven't heard from you in a week and that's when you think of me? No thanks, I have a full time job so therefore chances are good that at 3am on a weeknight I'm sleeping because I have to get up for work in a few hours. For some reason, there are still a group of men who find it acceptable to only contact a woman in the middle of the night to simply come meet them at a bar. While it's nice to be thought of, if you haven't thought of me at any other time and made an effort then you aren't making an effort now, you are still just putting me in your "maybe girl" category. Nah, doesn't fit into my New Year's Goal plan. I know I'm worth an effort and so is the person who will be special to me and I know I wouldn't wait to contact him until 3am.

So far so good.....

So, did you make any New Year's Resolutions? I call mine New Year's Goals. I think that by calling it a resolution it's something I subconsciously expect to accomplish right away and all at once. A goal however, is something that I can work towards, understand that it takes time and effort and be very proud of myself when I reach it. One of my New Year's Goals for 2010 was to eliminate all of the people, places, relationships, etc. that I just know are not good for me. Whether it be that they make me feel sad, bad about myself, play stupid games, are not the friends to me that they expect me to be to them (and I am because I'm just like that), or hurt my feelings on a regular basis...they needed to go. In other words, people places, relationships that are toxic in my life.

It started New Year's Eve. My phone started blowing up with texts from guys I haven't heard from in months. You know what I'm talking about. All single ladies out there have them. They are the guys who tell you how fabulous you are and yet only seem to appear every few months only to disappear just as quickly. In other words, they make contact just enough to make sure you don't forget them but don't have a enough of an interest in you to actually date you. You are their "just in case" girl. The one they call when they don't have any others around. No thank you. I deserve better than that so right then and there I decided it was time to stop the cycle. I had a deletion ceremony as the countdown to 2010 began and one by one deleted all of those disappearing/reappearing guys. Now, if I don't recognize the number, I don't answer. If they really want to talk to me, they will either sign the text or leave a message when they call.

My next light bulb moment was this past Friday. I had some family drama going on and I was very worried and extremely upset. My bestest good friend, Tricia was right there with a message (she was out of town), another friend stayed up late to talk to me by text until he was sure I was calmed down and doing ok. I can't tell you how much this meant to me. Some others though. All I can say is "Wow"! One sent a text asking what was wrong. I sent her an email because it was just way too much to type....still haven't heard a word from her. Again, wow. I've done a lot of hand holding and tear catching with her so I was really surprised. 2 other friends that I called in a crying mess have yet to call me back. Again, wow. I understand that it's in my nature to try to take care of everyone I care about but when I'm the one that needs the comforting, it's nice to know that I can ask for it and get a positive response. Sooooo...these would be the toxic relationships. I've lived and learned there. As for those who helped me. You will never know how much it means to me to have you to lean on and know that you will all listen to me.

So, what will the rest of the year bring my way? It's kind of exciting to think about. I'm thankful that so far I've been strong enough to stick to my New Year's Goal but as I said before, it's a process and I only hope that my strength continues. It's been very liberating and freeing so far. I've decided that it's time to stop worrying about everyone else and to stop running myself ragged putting my own desires and needs aside and do what makes me happy and look out for myself. In the end, it will make me a happier and healthier person and that will trickle down to those around me. So, bring on 2010!

Ladies...have you got your red or yellow panties ready?

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. There's a superstition out there that says that if it's love/romance that a woman wants to come her way that she should wear red panties when you go to sleep on New Year's Eve and if it's financial prosperity that she is looking for to wear yellow. Yes, I know, it's a superstition...or is this considered an old wives's tale? Regardless, it's worth a try.

New Year's Eve is full of hopes of basically giving yourself a do-over. This isn't always such a bad thing. Think back to all of the not-so-bright dating decisions you may have made in the last year. Wipe the slate clean and give yourself a huge do-over. Want to get in shape? Join a gym and give yourself a do-over! Want to stop smoking? Time for a do-over on the not being able to quit a bad habit thing.

I already started. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week as it is so starting a fitness routine isn't a resolution that I can make. However, I did sign up for another round of sessions with my favorite personal trainer. I think I look great but I also know that I can look and feel better. So, come Monday I will be in extreme pain and wondering why I do this to myself and loving every minute of it. Where exactly is it that I started on the do-over then? Remember Randy the Lilliputian from last night? Well, I was hit on at the gym by a guy that I swear was his clone. I quickly and politely turned him down. Sorry but I did my time with guys like that and it never ever works out so time to try something new. And no, it wasn't the height that made me turn him down it was the attitude. Think "Jersey Shore" transplanted to South Florida for the winter. No thanks.

So Ladies.....what is it that you are looking for in the new year? Set yourself some realistic goals and don't call them resolutions. That's just giving yourself permission to break them. One of my big goals for next year is to get my book published and/or to be published in a national mag. In the meantime, I'll be wearing my pretty red panties when I go to sleep tomorrow night. What color will you be wearing?

Lessons learned over burgers.....

I went and had dinner tonight with two friends, Patti and Amy. It was $1 burger night at Bar Louie and it really can't be missed. Patti and I know each other through a common person who shall remain nameless. Actually, his name in my world and to those closest to me is csl w/ nb. He's an ex and Patti's hubby is his bff. Amy and I have known each other for a couple of years now. I met her through a chain of coincidences. The night started out as any dinner out would. Small talk which leads to more in depth conversation, appetizer, food, laughs, etc. Patti and Amy got along fine and since I'm friends with both it all worked out great for me. At one point, both Amy and I went to the restroom and poor Patti was left alone.

This is where the night gets bizarre. When we came back from the restroom, Patti was being hit on by a very odd guy. His name was Randy, he was a Lilliputian and apparently had been out drinking for quite some time before coming to Bar Louie...and he liked Patti. We all were very quick to point out that Patti was very happily married so he was wasting his time. Amy and I are both single but he wasn't interested in either of us. Woo-hoo! No matter what we did, Randy would not get out of Patti's personal space. Amy and I did all we could to distract him but to no avail. You would not believe the stories and lies Ames told him and he bought them all. Seriously dude...back off! His friend, Ryan, even tried to get him to back off. Finally he convinced him that in order for him to get another drink he had to leave our table and go back to the bar.

So, gentlemen.....what's to be learned from this experience? First of all...if you are the nice guy in the bunch, we will chat with you and will enjoy it but yes, you will be judged by the company you keep. I know, shallow but whatever, it's a reality. Just ask Ryan. We had a good time chatting with him but given that he was attached to the drunk close talker, we didn't want to continue talking to him. Another thing to learn from this may be that if you are drunk, step away from the strangers! Those ladies over at the table do not want to talk to you. They especially do not want you to be practically on their lap. Randy there is just very lucky that Patti has a good sense of humor and is a good sport. Seriously though...when a woman tells you that she is very happily married, believe her!

Take these lessons with you into the New Year! Live and learn boys. I'm here to help.

Silly Boys....tricks are for kids

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I've spent the last 3 days sick. I've gone to work and then right home either to the couch or the bed. Couldn't go to the gym. Couldn't help out with any of the Christmas preparations with the family. Couldn't eat. Couldn't do anything. It was one heck of a diet plan but that's not exactly the right way to go about it. During all of this sick time, I've done a lot of thinking. I know that most people do their reflecting at New Year's but not me. I do it at Christmas. Makes more sense to me. Why make a bunch of resolutions that you know you aren't going to keep? Think I'm kidding? Drive by any gym right after January 1st and then again a few weeks later. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Back to my year.....It's been an interesting year in my dating world. Had some really good times and some sucky times. Let's take a moment to reflect on some of the "Seriously?!!" moments. There was a jeep. Inside that jeep was a boy. A hot boy. I took a chance and left a note. Jeep boy responded to the note. Had about 4 or 5 dates and really connected and poof!!! He was gone. Totally changed personalities. To this day nobody can figure out why he hates me so much out and why it came out of nowhere. At this point it's just funny and on ongoing inside joke among my friends. Suffice it to say, boy has issues. Uses his job as an excuse for everything. That brings me to another stand out date of the past year. I went out with jeep boy's co-worker. Funny how they work on the same projects yet his friend has time for a social life. Like I said..issues. Anywhoo...went to a hockey game with his co-worker and had a great time! Seriously, the best date all year long. We had so much fun! Then a week or so later he hung out with my friends. Another friend had a chit chat with him and he took it as pressure. She told me what she said and even though he told me that he ignores everything other people say and makes up his own mind, he pulled a disappearing act too. Again...Seriously??!! Ok. Live and learn. On the low side of the dating year, there was the ex-boyfriend who out of nowhere started emailing me and invited me to go to the Keys with him while his wife and child were out of town. No! I didn't go!! I refuse to get involved in anyone's drama. His wife still felt the need to come after me and call me "the other woman" even though I haven't seen my ex in years! I finally told her to leave me alone or I would get a restraining order.

Here's a freebie tip to men out there...in the day of instant technology, don't try to hide anything from a girl. We will find out. Guaranteed. Most specifically, get rid of your girlfriend/wife before dating someone else. Really! When you are in a relationship, that means you are with that one person. That's it.While we are on that topic, watch what you put on Facebook because we will see it. If you are single, you put single for your status. You do not put married, in a relationship or it's complicated. If it's complicated, why do you think I want to be involved? Do not have your profile pic be of you and your girlfriend and then try to say you don't have one. Or do, it does make our lives easier.

I know that there is a common misconception that a single person's life is carefree, we have nothing to worry about and an abundance of extra funds in the bank. That our lives are a non-stop party. Not true. Especially with the finances. The bills are all ours. No second income to fall back on if there's just one person living in the house. This year also had some sad moments that had to be faced. My uncle died a few days before Father's Day. My mom's uncle is dying as I write this. My best friend's brother-in-law died earlier this year. That one was especially hard to take. I've known him since high school and he was only a year older than me. It was very tragic. Situations like those teach you just how fragile life is and that we must appreciate each and every moment that we get.

So, 2009 was year full of interesting situations, sad times, "did that just happen" moments, laughs, tears, fights and fun. I'm looking forward to 2010 and hoping that the universe gives me the chance for a big huge do over! Hug your family and remember that friends are the family that you get to choose.

It's almost Christmas!

OMG...Christmas is only a few days away. Yes, I'm done shopping. No, I'm not done wrapping gifts and no, I haven't mailed gifts yet to out of town family members. It's ok though...they are used to it and they haven't mailed their gifts to me either. As I sit here after spending the day with family watching football (my favorite Sunday activity) I realized the reason behind my current funk that I've been in. Fact is that I miss my Dad.

Christmas is all about spending time with friends and family and I've definitely been doing as much of that as possible. I'm very close to my family and have a great group of friends. Nothing will ever begin to fill the void that was created the day my Dad died though. This isn't my first Christmas without him. Actually, it's my 17th. Doesn't make me miss him any less. This year is also my cousin's first Christmas without her Dad. My uncle died a few days before Father's Day this year. I know what she's going through. Maybe that's why we spend so much time together. We do take care of each other when we get sad.

Actress Brittany Murphy died earlier today. It's a shock to everyone. All of the articles have spoken about her films and the legacy she leaves behind. My first thought was of her mother. No mother should ever have to face finding their child dead. My second thought was that this is such a horrible time of year to loose someone you love. Holidays are all about happiness and celebration. Her family and friends are going through incredible pain instead. That's more than anyone should have to deal with. My prayers go out to them.

So, as I sit her and look at my Christmas tree, I can remember almost every story behind almost every ornament. It makes me feel good to have such memories. I will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my family and I will hold them close. We have a 2 year old in the family so it will definitely be a lot of fun. I will also say a prayer for families like Brittany Murphy's. I also ask that you all say a prayer for the families of soldiers who are serving overseas. For every full holiday dinner table out there, there will be ones with an empty chair because those men and women are brave enough to leave their families to fight for our freedoms.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

What an interesting night last night.....

I had no intentions of going anywhere last night. I was in my jammies, had just finished watching the movie "Julia & Julie" (really good movie by the way) when I got the text from my friend...."we're at the pub, come join us". It was midnight. I thought about it for a bit. I was wide awake, didn't have to be up early in the morning and spent the entire day shopping so I felt like I needed a reward. OK, so it was really more that I was wide awake and my friends were out having fun. So, off to the pub I went. It's a pub we go to on a regular basis and know everyone who works there so I was OK with showing up alone. Just so you know, my nights out do not normally start at midnight!

Got there and said hello to all of my friends and even met a few new people. I mentioned to one man I was chatting with that I was on the couch and in my jammies up until the infamous text and his response was that usually the nights when you didn't plan on being out wind up being the most fun and the most interesting. I had to agree however, at that point I had no idea just what my night would be like. Don't get nervous, it wasn't anything bad.

Later in the night I was talking with one of the bartenders and out of nowhere he said something about taking me out on a date. I was so caught off guard that I made him say it again just to make sure I heard correctly. I did. Now I know what you are thinking....a bartender, seriously? It's not that kind of place though and this bartender is the one that keeps everyone else in line. He's not someone I ever considered for the purposes of dating. No real reason why not though. I just never thought of him like that. There's no OMG physical attraction but he's also not a troll living under a bridge either. He's always been super nice to me and always compliments me when I walk in.

So, after this conversation took place and he left me standing there in total shock, I started to think about it. I've been going out with hot guy after hot guy and it doesn't normally work out much more than a few dates. Maybe it's time my strategy changes. I mean, isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Maybe it's time to go out with someone simply because he is so nice to me and makes me laugh. A very wise man once said "In the end don't you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh?". Just in case you are wondering, the wise man was Mr. Big in an episode of Sex and the City.

I said yes to the invite and gave him my number. What started as a very low key movie night at home ended at 3:30 a.m. and I apparently have a date this week at some point. Not at all what I expected for my night but a very interesting night indeed.

Why Did I Start This?

Hello,

That's probably not the best opening ever but I'm ok with that. I'm sitting here wondering why exactly I started this blog. Was it the rainy day that made me a bit nutsy? Was it the stress of the holiday season and all of the shopping/shipping/decorating that I have to have done by say last week? Was it the glass of wine I had with dinner? Who knows. Does it really matter? I write articles for local magazines about my life as a single professional woman living in South Florida and it hit me that pretty much my thoughts and experiences really are not all that unique to just myself. I don't mean that we are all drones just drudging our way through life. Each one of us has specific experiences and of course thoughts and feelings but more that all of us singletons share certain basic thoughts and feelings and why not chat about them?

I'm sure you are wondering who exactly it is that you are talking with. Let me give you some basic background on myself. Let's just say I'm thirtysomething, and live in South Florida. Yes, I'm blonde and I do all of the typical South Florida girl things....I love the beach, I work out, I shop and I have a shoe habit. I also work full time at a major international company and write for local magazines on the side. Here's what makes me a bit unique....I love football. I bleed teal and orange. Yes, I'm a Miami Dolphins fan. I live and breathe football. Not the girl who thinks it's cute to fake an interest to get a guy but the girl who screams louder and knows more stats than most guys. It's a family thing. We are all like that. My cousin even scheduled the birth of her last child around the Dolphins schedule.

What makes me an expert on dating? Absolutely nothing. I don't know any more than you do. I'm only willing to fill you in on my day to day happenings so you will see that you are not alone. I have good days and I have days when I'm ready to choke someone and the soda machine refuses to take my money so all of my co-workers hide under their desks (last Wednesday). I have been in relationships. 3 serious ones to be exact. The first lasted 6 years, the second lasted 3 1/2 and the third lasted a year...to the day. So, I'm figuring that when I meet Mr. The One, it's going to be a whirlwind romance and I'm ok with that. Looking forward to it.

I've dated everything from the perfect guy that I just didn't have any interest in to the guy who was unbeknownst to me finishing a 5 year jail sentence at the time of our date. I've run in my high heels to get away from a bad date and stared at my phone for days hoping a phenomenal date would call. Join me in my ups and downs of life in the single lane. Feel free to share your own stories. Raise your martini glasses ladies! We are fabulous.

Look forward to laughing with you!!!