Advice I Have Been Given......

I am going to be nice and call what follows as advice. You are free to form your own opinion. I will state upfront that I do not consider all of it advice. A lot of it I would say falls into the previous post of Stupid Shit People Say To Pregnant Women. Again, you can form your own opinion and please, feel free to let me know your thoughts.

As I went over in the previous post, there are a ton of people who ever since I announced the pregnancy have felt the need to tell me nothing but negative crap. Things like how will you guys afford a baby? Where will you put it since your place is so small? Aren't you worried about your age being a factor? (These are people that I no longer talk to) How will Mr. 2g2bt's kids react? Blah, blah, blah. At this point I just smile and in my head hear the voice of the Charlie Brown teacher. Bite me is all I really can say to these people. Those are things for us to figure out and the rest of you to not be concerned with. It will all work because we love each other, we will find a way to make it work and it has to work out!

Now the people that I really like hearing advice from are the ones that tell me that I look like I'm loosing weight and I need to eat more. These are my fav peeps to talk to. I'm at 7 months now and I've gained less than 20 lbs. However, it is seriously all belly. I really think it's being sucked from other parts of my body, especially my face according to Mr. 2g2bt, and put in my belly. I'm ok with that. I was told just this week that there are two types of pregnant women....those who look cute pregnant and those who look Whoa! pregnant and that I fell into the cute pregnant category. Yes, I did hug this person for saying that.

Then there's the flip side....the ones who feel the need to constantly tell me how big I am. Comments such as the following: "Wow you got huge!", "Are you sure you aren't due until January because you look ready now!", "Doesn't matter what you wear, you are pregnant and you are still going to look huge", "Aren't you uncomfortable being so big?", "You need to slow down on the eating or you will never be able to loose that weight", "This dessert is really good but judging from the looks of you, you need to lay off desserts" and my personal favorite "How dare she show up here in that condition". That last one I've heard at a few places, one of which being the gym. Uuummm...isn't that a great place for me to go "in this condition"? As I've pointed out before, I'm pregnant, not terminal, not Buddah and not without feelings. That being said, let me just point out that according to my doctors I am textbook with my weight gain so far and I eat the same as everyone else, 3 meals a day. To those who are offended when I show up to certain situations and places pregnant and how dare I: I'm so sorry. You see, I'm half Bahamian which means that time management is not my strongest quality. I am so focused on getting ready and getting out the door on time that it never fails...I get halfway to my destination and realize that I totally once again forgot to unpregnate myself! Nothing I can do about it at that point so I just carry on. I always swear to be better about it next time but I once again am always running late. I try to suck in the tummy but just hasn't seemed to work. I am making my promise to the public that I will work on it.

Another favorite category are the people who give me dietary advice. Everything from simple things such as don't eat shellfish, no alcohol, drink lots of water to the over the top such as the woman who took the time to scream at me for drinking a soda and not being a vegetarian. Seriously, she followed me out of a work meeting and screamed at me! I pointed out that my doctor told me I could have one to two caffinated drinks a day and it was fine. I also pointed out that I have maybe 2 caffinated sodas a week (other than that if I need the fizz I have ginger ale). She would not give up. Then she went into the vegan issue. I politely told her to each his own and I am not a fan of veggies, love my cheeseburgers and I'm not interested in being a vegan. Then she asked if I was going to have an all natural birth. My answer was "Hell No!". Oh boy. The lecture again started. Apparently I have not done my research, have no idea what the drugs given during childbirth will do to a baby and I am going to make a horrible mother if this is the choice I am already making. At this point I was about to loose it. I looked at her very intently and told her that I came from a generation where our mothers drank, smoked and even ate tuna fish while pregnant and I was fine so I didn't think my 2 sodas a week were going to do anything horrible to my baby. I also told her that God put those drugs on the earth for a purpose and I planned on accepting anything my nurses/doctors offered to me. Hell, if I had it my way I'd have a little starter pack for at home just to make sure I didn't miss out on any crucial windows of opportunity. I let her know that I fully intended to put my trust in the people who had medical degrees and deliver babies for a living. OMFG! Seriously??? Back off biotch! Ugh! Whatever!

I have also been told about different tricks to make sure the baby is a good sleeper, do/don't drink ____ to help with breastfeeding, that I'll never leave the house once I have a baby (why? I plan on getting the portable kind. Yes, it will take more work but I've seen babies out and about before), blah, blah, blah, Charlie Brown teacher. Then there are the people in my life such as my mom, Mr. 2g2bt's mom, friends, family who have actually honestly and openly answered questions for me. These I appreciate. I'm very lucky to have such a great support system and I know how blessed I am with that. So, to all of you who fall into this category, thank you. One friend even went with me to help me do my baby registry....she's pregnant with baby #3!

I'll leave you with my favorite piece of advice so far. It came from my cousin's little girl. She just turned 5 a little over a week ago. To say that Miss Munchkin is not shy is a huge understatement. After she asked me all sorts of questions such as how does the baby breathe? Is it dark in there for him? she looked at me very seriously and told me that I should drink milk because babies like milk. I told her that I do drink milk because I like it. However, that was really good advice. Then later she kind of killed her credibility when she asked me what his name is going to be. I asked her what she thought it should be and she said that I should name him because I'm the mommy. Then out of nowhere she very emphatically blurted out that his name should be Dopey. Yeah, she's off the baby naming committee. However, at least she cared enough to make a suggestion.

So, my opinionated readers...what's your advice to me? Clearly I can take it all...the good, the bad, the ugly and the WTF are you saying to me? It has been quite an experience and I've still got just over 2 months to go. I have heard everything from the truly heartfelt and out of love advice to the nosey stranger who seems to think they can just say whatever comes to mind. Since apparently baby brain has set in and there are days that I can't seem to form a complete thought much less a sentence out loud, I respond better on some days than on others. Remember the getting into the car on the wrong side incident? Well, tonight I discovered that a box of 2 light bulbs will survive a full cycle in the washing machine. No, I have no idea how they got in there.

Don't give up hope on my readers! One day I pray at least part of my brain will return. Until then, check back again to see what new and intriguing things the public at large has educated me on. Remember....for every martini you have, have an extra one for me since I can't!

Yes, he put a ring on it!

Yes, boys and girls, Mr. 2g2bt put a ring on it. As I said in my last post we had already decided that we were going to get married but we didn't have an actual plan for it yet except that it would be sometime next year. We talked about next fall. Well, last week for 3 days he started singing the "I know something you don't know" song. No, really...it's an actual song and he even had a dance for it. Actually, 2 dances for it. Al lhe would tell me is that it was something I was going to love. 3 days I had to hear this...by text, in person, in the morning, in the night, you name it. I kept listening to everything he said very closely. He mentioned that he would tell me the information on Friday evening. Ok, so it's info, not an object. That narrows it down a bit. Maybe we were going out of town? Maybe he got tickets to the Dolphins game? He knows I want to go to one before baby gets here. Maybe he has info about us moving? Who knows! My mind was working overtime coming up with scenarios. Then Friday night came. I went to a fundraiser meeting and when I got home as soon as I walked in the door I heard the song "I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know" over and over again. I get to the table where he's sitting and there are flowers and a note telling me that the something he knows is in the bathroom. Ok, this works out well since I had a very large iced tea at the meeting and at 6 months pregnant the bathroom is somewhere I frequent a lot. So, I go into the bathroom and there's another note sending me to the other bathroom. As you guessed it, there I found another note. This one telling me that it is behind the laundry room door. Ugh! Now it was killing me...and I stil had to pee. Then the note in the laundry room said to look under my pillow. Ok, this has to be where I'll find my surprise. Nope, that note said that my surprise was back where I started by my flowers and I must not have seen it there when I started. So, I go back to the table and now instead of the orignal note, there's a very pretty box under my flowers and Mr. 2g2bt has a huge grin. I opened the box and there was my ring. My very sparkly pretty ring. No, it's not celebrity size, print in the tabloids ring but it's mine. The best part? He actually took it from me, got on one knee and asked me to marry him. After all of the non-traditional things we've done, he actually got on one knee and asked. I cried a little but I think I did a good job of covering that. So, now it's official. We are engaged. Wait, we were before too. Ok, so now I have something very sparkly to look at every day that tells the world we are engaged. Something that makes me smile everytime I see it because he took the time to pick it out, go buy it, create a scavenger hunt for me and he got on one knee all because he loves me. Yep, me...Miss Cynical about relationships just said all of that. Told you he was Mr. 2g2bt. Told you this journey was far from over. I'm in it and I'm still being surprised. Even I have no idea what to expect next. Well, one thing I do know for sure, there's a smaller version of the two of us cooking away and I decided I am going to go get a pedicure one of these days. Maybe next Friday, seems like a worthy day. Ok, so I guess there's 2 things I know for sure to expect. Once again, the moral of this story? Do not forget about the boy you meet at age 4 while you are playing t-ball and always go to your high school reunion. You just have no idea where it can take your life. Thanks again for that, Tricia. You rock! I guess I'm technically not a singleton but you know that I am always going to be one of the original singletons so ladies (and gentlemen) raise your martini glasses and until at least January, have an extra one for me! Stay tuned....who knows what will happen next!