Stupid Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women.....

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to write. I've been gathering my thoughts on this one for quite some time and wanted to make sure I got it all right or actually, I should say I've been gathering everyone else's thoughts for this one. Now, I have to warn you all that this may sound a bit like non-stop bitching and complaining so if you have a problem with that, you may want to stop reading now and check back in when I post again. You see I'm going to let you all in on the stupid shit people have been saying to me over the last few months. Now, as most couples do, we did not tell anyone about the pregnancy until we had reached the 12 week mark and everything was still looking good at the doctor's visits. Some say that is superstitous but we felt it was the right thing to do as there is so much that can go wrong early in a pregnancy. Then as you can imagine it took some time for me to actually look pregnant. Trust me though, when that kicked in, it really kicked in. In the first few weeks and months the most common things I heard were things such as "How are you going to have a baby?", "How can you afford to have a baby?", "Your place is so small, where are you going to put a baby?". Let's take a look at these: How? I figured the same way everyone else does. There really are only two options for how a baby will come out! My body pretty much does all of the cooking on it's own. I'm just along for the ride. Afford? How many people truly can afford to have a baby? Yes, there are the independently wealthy who don't even ever have to think the word budget much less put it to practice but for most of the population, it's all a struggle. You find a way to make it work. Yet are the same people who are questioning me out there questioning every pregnant woman they see? Maybe they are. If finances alone were a deciding factor in having a baby, the human race would end. Kids are freaking expensive and it doesn't end..ever! As for where are we going to put the new baby? I figured we'd keep him indoors. Newsflash..I know our place is crazy small and we don't have room for the adults, kids, pets or stuff that all live there now. I know we are tripping over each other and stuff non-stop. Fact is though, this baby is coming whether we have an extra bedroom or not! Oh and one more question: How is any of this anyone else's business? The constant onslaught of questions about these topics just heighten the fears and questions I've already had myself. I won't even get started on the people who feel the need to point out my age. Let's move on to the size comments. I won't tell you how much I've gained but I will tell you that it's way under 20lbs and my doctor says my weight gain is "textbook perfect". I've been very lucky that it's all belly. One seriously round belly. No doubt about that. You would not believe the things I have hear though. Some of my favorites are as follows: "Are you sure you aren't due until January? As big as you are I don't think they got that right.", "At least you weren't the mammoth size you are now in the middle of the summer.", "You must have a tough time getting clothes to fit as big as you are.", "We have dessert but given the size you already are, I doubt that you need dessert.", "Remember, what goes on must come off and at your age, it's not that easy so you might want to slow down the eating and not each as much.", "You are killing your baby by having that one soda", "What do you mean you are going to have drugs during the delivery? Even an epidural is harmful. You are going to be a horrible mother if those are the kinds of choices you are already making" and my favorite "Wow! Look at how huge you are!". Those are just a few. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on my size. People, I'm pregnant, not without feelings. We as women are taught from a very young age that skinny is beautiful, in shape is beautiful and I was before I got pregnant. However, take that mindset and suddenly have a body that is gaining weight no matter what you do plus some seriously messed up hormones. Yes, it is all for a good cause and I'm still able to exercise so I feel good but comments like these really mess with your mind and your feelings. I still cry at pretty much everything so add to it people constantly telling me I'm huge...yeah, Kleenex should send me thank you notes. Like I said...next time you encounter a pregnant woman, please keep in mind that she's self-conscious enough about her growing size, don't add to her insecurities. Tell her how great she looks. Trust me, it goes a long way. What I really don't get are the total strangers who make comments about my size. Why is this practice ok and when did that start? Then there are the belly rubbers. Oh yes, the belly rubbers. I personally have never understood this one bit however, I was prepared for it. I'm not a fan of it but I know people are going to do it. When family and close friends do it, for some reason it doesn't bother me. Hoever, when total strangers do it..that just creeps me out. I really don't get it. If you saw a stranger in the grocery store that wasn't pregnant, would you go rub her belly? Then why is it ok to do it to a pregnant woman? Again, I don't get it. Just to give you one example, I was walking in the gym when a man appeared out of nowhere and started rubbing my belly and said "I just love how a pregnant belly feels. What you are doing is so beautiful". I smiled politely and tried to keep walking....and so did he only he was still rubbing me! Finally, I just told him that I am not Buddah and he will not get any sort of good luck or extra wishes for rubbing me so to stop. He of course looked shocked that I would say such a thing and stomped away. Last I checked though, I still own this tummy! This has happened so many times that recently when I was at Fuku Restaurant in West Palm Beach I stood next to the giant Buddah and pointed out that I look nothing like him. Let's not forget the women who feel the need to tell me their personal horror stories. Stories of being on bedrest for months, hospitalized for weeks, birth defects, labor that lasted days, how bad childbirth hurts, etc. Like I need to hear this? Just incase I'm not scared enough. Oh and even my ultrasound tech at the doctor's office felt the need to tell me a story about a woman who she examined and had to tell her that her baby had no toes! No toes! She was telling me this while I was on the exam table. No woman wants to hear a story like that at that time. Really, we are all aware that these things can happen and that there are a million things that can go wrong at anytime but wouldn't it be more productive to offer encouragement to the preggo chick? Just a thought. Now it hasn't all been bad so I will leave you with a laugh. While it is still true that I am an emotional wreck and cry at pretty much everything and nothing, I do laugh at myself quite a bit too. For example, everytime I see my stomach jump I can't help but laugh. Yes, my back does hurt and this little one seems to hate my ribs but for some reason it's just a funny thing to see. There's another human in there! How freaky is that? The best thing so far was the day I got into my own car on the wrong side. Yep, I did that. I was leaving for work and in a rush (shocker, I know). I gathered all of my stuff for the day, went into the garage and climbed into my truck. I situated myself complete with seatbelt and waited..and waited..and waited...and couldn't figure out why nothing was happening. I mean, it was getting hot in there, the radio wasn't coming on and I wasn't going anywhere. I'm late! I've got to go! Then I realized that the car wasn't on. Yep, that's the problem. Can't go anywhere without the car on and to top it off the keys were still in my hand. I can fix that. So, I went to start the car and that's when I realized it...I was sitting in the passenger seat! What was I doing? Waiting for my chauffeur? Well, Mr. 2g2bt had the nerve to be at work that day so the chauffeur thing wasn't going to work out. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I tried to figure out if I could crawl over the center console so that no nosy neighbors wouldn't see me get out of the passenger side and back in the driver's side. I decided that this belly wasn't going to do that very gracefuly so better take my chances and just get out the same way I got in. I've heard about baby brain and had really hoped that it wouldn't get me too hard but I'm thinking that was the start to it all and it's here. So, if you are ever having a bad day just ask yourself if you got into the correct side of the car that morning. If you can say yes, then know that it can always be worse and feel free to have a laugh on me. Really, it's ok. I'm still laughing at myself over this one. The moral of all of this you may be asking? Well, people have no filters and a lot of them have no social graces. Pregnant women are not without feelings, we are emotional wrecks and your comments can cause us to cry all day, we are not Buddah and rubbing our bellies will not give you good luck and most importantly, remember that the left side of your car is actually the right side to be. Keep smiling and check back soon for more adventures in preggo land! This adventure is only starting.

Yes, he put a ring on it!

Yes, boys and girls, Mr. 2g2bt put a ring on it. As I said in my last post we had already decided that we were going to get married but we didn't have an actual plan for it yet except that it would be sometime next year. We talked about next fall. Well, last week for 3 days he started singing the "I know something you don't know" song. No, really...it's an actual song and he even had a dance for it. Actually, 2 dances for it. Al lhe would tell me is that it was something I was going to love. 3 days I had to hear this...by text, in person, in the morning, in the night, you name it. I kept listening to everything he said very closely. He mentioned that he would tell me the information on Friday evening. Ok, so it's info, not an object. That narrows it down a bit. Maybe we were going out of town? Maybe he got tickets to the Dolphins game? He knows I want to go to one before baby gets here. Maybe he has info about us moving? Who knows! My mind was working overtime coming up with scenarios. Then Friday night came. I went to a fundraiser meeting and when I got home as soon as I walked in the door I heard the song "I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know" over and over again. I get to the table where he's sitting and there are flowers and a note telling me that the something he knows is in the bathroom. Ok, this works out well since I had a very large iced tea at the meeting and at 6 months pregnant the bathroom is somewhere I frequent a lot. So, I go into the bathroom and there's another note sending me to the other bathroom. As you guessed it, there I found another note. This one telling me that it is behind the laundry room door. Ugh! Now it was killing me...and I stil had to pee. Then the note in the laundry room said to look under my pillow. Ok, this has to be where I'll find my surprise. Nope, that note said that my surprise was back where I started by my flowers and I must not have seen it there when I started. So, I go back to the table and now instead of the orignal note, there's a very pretty box under my flowers and Mr. 2g2bt has a huge grin. I opened the box and there was my ring. My very sparkly pretty ring. No, it's not celebrity size, print in the tabloids ring but it's mine. The best part? He actually took it from me, got on one knee and asked me to marry him. After all of the non-traditional things we've done, he actually got on one knee and asked. I cried a little but I think I did a good job of covering that. So, now it's official. We are engaged. Wait, we were before too. Ok, so now I have something very sparkly to look at every day that tells the world we are engaged. Something that makes me smile everytime I see it because he took the time to pick it out, go buy it, create a scavenger hunt for me and he got on one knee all because he loves me. Yep, me...Miss Cynical about relationships just said all of that. Told you he was Mr. 2g2bt. Told you this journey was far from over. I'm in it and I'm still being surprised. Even I have no idea what to expect next. Well, one thing I do know for sure, there's a smaller version of the two of us cooking away and I decided I am going to go get a pedicure one of these days. Maybe next Friday, seems like a worthy day. Ok, so I guess there's 2 things I know for sure to expect. Once again, the moral of this story? Do not forget about the boy you meet at age 4 while you are playing t-ball and always go to your high school reunion. You just have no idea where it can take your life. Thanks again for that, Tricia. You rock! I guess I'm technically not a singleton but you know that I am always going to be one of the original singletons so ladies (and gentlemen) raise your martini glasses and until at least January, have an extra one for me! Stay tuned....who knows what will happen next!

Oh Boy.....Life has changed and the changes just keep on coming!!

Hello Singletons! Long time no chat, right? Well, sorry about that but I've been a bit busy over the last year...and I'm not quite so single anymore. Yep, you read that right, Mr. 2g2bt is still around. Not only around but we've been together for 2 years now. I know! Can you believe it? All because Tricia called in a 20 year old favor and made me go to our high school reunion. Yep, we were going to stay an hour and get out of there. Then Mr. 2g2bt walked in and suddenly I saw a reason to stay longer. Thank you again Tricia!!!! Here's a quick update on my life since we last talked: I've changed jobs again. Freakin economy! Mr. 2g2bt and I live together and we have his kids part time. Our place is ridiculously small for all of us and all of our stuff but so far we've made it work and everyone has a good time. Here's the biggest news though...I'm pregnant! Yes, take a moment to digest that one. It's ok, I'll wait. Took me some time to get used to it. Ok, are you back? Yeah, I'm pregnant and due early in January. Oh and we are getting married at some point next year as well. We were going to try to plan a wedding and have it before I looked like a whale but you know what? I really still want to have a big day. You know, the wedding all little girls dream about. Yes, it's silly and the money it will cost could be put towards more practical use but I still didn't want to give that up. So add that to the craziness of getting ready for a baby, I just decided I couldn't do it all at once without my head exploding and we decided to wait. I mean seriously, the secret is out..we've already had sex. Shhhh...don't tell anyone! I've gotta tell you that this whole being pregnant thing is quite a unique experience. It took a while for the concept to sink in. It's strange when you don't look any different and it's not like you are feeling the baby kick as soon as you pee on the stick! All sorts of things started flooding through my mind. Can I be a good parent? How will we afford this? Where will be put the baby when we don't have room for the people and pets that already live here? Will my feet grow leaving my 100+ pairs of shoes useless to me? What if the baby doesn't like me? No, I'm just kidding on that one. Of course the baby will like me, I'm me! Seriously! I was 5 weeks along when I found out and Mr. 2g2bt wanted to wait until I was 12 weeks before we told anyone so I felt like I had this huge secret that I was walking around with. Wait, I did. Well, we finally told everyone and there were tears, cheers, laughing and everything else you can imagine. If the emotions I've been feeling so far are any indication, this is going to be a wild ride. I seem to cry at absolutely everything. Doesn't matter if it's a happy reason, a sad reason, a TV commercial, a thought or a look someone gave me. My favorite was the day I had a total meltdown because I got a new phone and my music didn't transfer. I was hysterical even though logically I knew that all I had to do was plug it into the computer and load it up again. No biggie. The more I realized this, the more I laughed and the more I continued to cry...all at the same time. Then there are the moments that I'm crying and even I don't know why. Oh yeah, this is fun. Fashion has been interesting too. There were several months that my clothes didn't really fit me but maternity clothes were still too big. In my convoluted mind I thought if I just bought jeans a size bigger they would button comfortably and hold me over. I knew how absurd this idea was at the time but I still went ahead with the plan. That was an amusing trip to Kohl's. I'm pretty sure that you should not break a sweat while trying on jeans. I was determined though and bought 2 pairs. I wore them each once. Comfort was not a word that came to mind at the end of the day. However, I still looked good and that's all that mattered. I did the obligatory baby registries (Babies R Us and Target incase any of you want to shop for us) and that was quite an experience. I took a friend with me who is a mother of 2 and pregnant right now with her 3rd. If she suggested it, I zapped it. I mean really, there are so many different brands of everything! Once again my head was about to explode and had the ure to cry. With her help and my mom's help, I made it through and I think got rather carried away with the zapper so my apologies for all of the random things on the list. Then there are the insanly rude comments I get from people. Keep in mind that I've gained less than 10lbs and I'm almost 6 months along. I'm doing ok, it's just all belly. There are the people who tell me that I look like I'm getting thinner everywhere else but my face. I like those people. I'm convinced that my belly is just sucking the weight from other parts of my body. I'm fine with that. However, not a day goes by that someone doesn't tell me how huge I am. Total strangers at that! Once I was asked if I was having twins, a couple of days ago I was asked if I was due next month and I said no. Then her response was "really? Are you sure? As big as you are I can't believe you still have that long to go." I've gotten much better at just smiling. It used to reduce me to tears, then again everything does. Here's a public service announcement....I'm pregnant, not without feelings! Not to mention that I have seen preggos that were huge, had a few in our family as well as friends, and I am not even close to where they were in size so back off people! Maybe I should rename this blog to Stupid Shit People Say to Preggos! So my fellow Singletons, continue on this journey with me. I promise it won't be uneventful. As I'm typing this Mr. 2g2bt is doing his "I Know Something You Don't Know" Dance and singing the song the song by the same name. Apparently he has a surprise for me. I've been told I'll be let in on the secret tomorrow. Normally I invite you to raise your martini glasses with me as we carry on. My martini glass will have a Shirley Temple in it but I'm still there with you in spirit and I expect each of you to have one extra martini for me!

When did I turn into this?

Seriously singletons, who am I? I know who I am but the fact that I'm happier than ever and that really confuses me and again, makes me happier than ever. Mr. 2g2bt is out of town and I realized tonight that one call from him makes my whole day. Really? When did that happen? I used to be anti-relationship. I did all of that. When my friend were out "messing around" I spent a good 10 years in relationships. I had my twneties in my thirties. I was in a relationship staring at 16 and spent a better partof my 20's in front of a detective. This made me think a lot about my life. My world right now is back to what it was a year ago and yet it seems really empty. The house is empty, I'm bored and I'm waiting for the phone to ring so I can fall alseep. When did this happen? I can answer that...about July, 2010. I know, the first date wasn't until August 20, 2011 but really, my mind was taken over in July, 2010. Again..thank you Tricia for making me go to the reunion. I'm glad I made you go to senior prom.

I think about all the things that have happened in my life, both the good and bad and I know that they have made me who I am. Of course I wish my Dad was still here....he would be so happy that I was with Mr. 2g2bt....and I wish I hadn't gone through the 10 years of hell with psycho boy but at the same time, if I hadn't dealt with it all, I wouldn't be who I am now. It's very true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

There's good and bad in that. I know that there are 3 sides to every story (his, hers and the truth) but I also have built up a wall because I was sick of getting hurt. However Mr. 2g2bt has destroyed that wall. I have given him my whole heart. He's either going to cherish it forever or destroy it at some point but either way he's more than worth it. He's not perfect and neither am I but he's also kind and caring and he loves me with his whole heart. In the whole process his family had accepted me and my family and to me that's very important. I love him more than words can say and I miss him. Wish he would come home already.

What I am saying, singletons is don't give up. Mr. 2g2bt and I haven't always had the easiset of roads but what we do know is this....we love each other and aren't willing to give up. During the bumps along the road, that's really a big deal. Daddy, I love you with all my heart and I miss you so much that some days it physically still hurts but through your death I learned who I was and I can handle just about anything now because I've already survived the worst.

I'm baaaaaack!!!!

Hello Singletons!!!! Miss me? Wonder where I've been? Well, a lot has been going on. As you read back in February, I stopped the random serial dating and actually met someone who slowed me down enough for a relationship. Well, guess what? I'm still with him. Even better than that...Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True is still around. Not only that, we've been together for almost a year now. Things have been great. Don't get me wrong, there have been bumps for sure but at the core of it all is a sincere happiness so we always work the bumps out.

All of this has been great however, it did pretty much kill my writing career. Gone are my days of getting hit on by random guys. Gone are my days of having to run in my high heels from a guy who was angry at me because a stranger had a Channel purse. Gone are my days of scheduling 2 dates in one night. Stop judging me, you know you've done it too. Gone are the days of guys way too young for me, guys who had girlfriends but refused to admit it, guys who take off their wedding rings while standing in front of me. That one actually happened again not too long ago so I guess those days aren't quite gone yet. Gone are the days of stupid small talk trying to figure out what the story is behind someone and if they are telling the truth or not. Basically, gone are the games that us singletons are forced to play. What has it all be replaced by? Well, to give you an idea, last night was Saturday night and both Mr. 2g2bt and I were excited for the dishwasher to finish to see if the new detergent was as good as we hoped. Seriously! Let me back it up a bit though and explain.

Mr. 2g2bt and I both have done our share of late nights, regretable stories, bad and good relationships, and everything in between both good and bad. We are both at a point in our lives that we are sick of playing the games. If you read my column, you know that we have known each other since we were 4. We went to school together all the way through high school. We lost touch after high school graduation and reconnected at our 20 year reunion. I'm obligated at this point to say...THANK YOU TRICIA FOR FORCING ME TO GO!!! She requires that I say that and it's well deserved. During that 20 years after graduation, he got married, had 2 kids, got divorced and go back on his feet. I had 3 very serious relationships, had my heart broken, dated a bunch of randoms and was convinced that real, true and honest love just wouldn't find me. Guess what? It did!

Mr. 2g2tb and I are both pretty done with the wild all night partying. We did our time and now we are just thankful that we don't have to play the games anymore and are so happy to have each other to come home to. We both work full time, have great families and each have our separate interests to we really do appreciate quiet time at night watching tv together. Don't get me wrong, we do go out, we just aren't looking for the eternal party anymore. My sister warned me that this happened as you get older but I didn't believe her. Sorry, Cheri. You were right. Add to this that as I mentioned, my sexy man has 2 kids so we do as much with them as we can when we have them with us. At the end of those days, I seriously am not thinking about who is at the pub or what I'm missing. I'm just looking forward to my bed.

Back to the new dishwasher detergent.....Mr. 2g2bt and I now live together. It's temporary. He needed to leave the rental he was in and wasn't given much notice so rather than sign a year lease on something he wasn't sure of he moved in with me since I own my place. I know the day will come that he moves out and I'm dreading it. I won't be angry, just sad. The house will look and feel so empty and lonely without him and the kids. So, I'm just enjoying each day and trying to remind myself to make the most of it. He knows though that I don't want him to leave.

Living together has brought about a new dynamic. I didn't know entirely what to expect so I kept an open mind. It's been great. I love pulling up to the garage and seeing that he's already home or if I get home first, I can't wait to hear that click when his key unlocks the door. We've had to make allowances for each other and we've both learned a lot about each other but our relationship is stronger because of it. Don't get me wrong, it's not all perfect. For example, is there a reason that I have to beg and plead to get him to help me clean? However, when the begging and pleading does happen, he does things like today when he hand scrubbed the bathroom floors so it definitely all works out. We have the ability to have a good time and laugh together no matter what we are doing. Which again brings us to the dishwasher detergent.

Last night we went grocery shopping together. The first time if you can believe that. We needed dishwasher detergent and both agreed that what we had before just wasn't doing the trick so we got something a little more expensive. We laughed at the grocery store about how we couldn't wait to run the dishwasher to try it, got home and my man cooked me dinner and then I put the dishes in the dishwasher. This is where the night really got funny. He just couldn't wait so he started the dishwasher. While it was running, we were on the couch and joking about turning off the tv and going into the bedroom to well, you know. I said that if we did that then we would miss when the dishwasher stopped. He came up with a plan to have a quickie and then be back out in the family room before the dishwasher stopped. I couldn't stop laughing because in less than a year my Saturday nights had gone from drunken apple martini nights to being excited about new dishwasher detergent. Mr. 2g2bt felt bad but I told him that I was laughing because I really was excited to see if the new detergent worked.

So, here's what it's come to....I wait for the dishwasher to stop and I'm happy about it. In that moment last night I realized that there was nowhere else in the world I'd rather be. I was laughing and having fun with the love of my life and that was what the real change in my life had been in the last year. I wouldn't change it for the world. If you were wondering, the new detergent did work for the most part. Join me in my new chapter of the single lane.

Thank You High School Reunion!

Hello fellow singletons! It's been a long time since I've shared with you and for that I apologize. There is a really good reason for it though....I'm in love! Yep, me! I know! Go figure. Someone finally got me to slow down. He's the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Now I'm asking for you all to help me out. See, I've entered a contest and I need every vote I can get. Something else that's happened in the last few months is that I lost my job. Therefore, I don't have the means to do much for Valentine's Day and would really like to win this contest and take my amazing man out to dinner. Please read the story below, click on the link and vote for us! Share with your friends too!!!

Ben & I first met at age 4 on the same t-ball team.We then went to school together from 3rd grade through high school graduation.I admit that all during middle school I had a huge crush on Ben.He even made me his girlfriend for a brief time-until he broke up with me for Rachael.Somewhere I still have the Valentine’s card he gave me in about 5th grade.I still remember my Dad saying in 4th grade that I’d be lucky if I found a guy like Ben-when I was over 30 of course & allowed to date.

Move to our 20 yr high school reunion.Ben & I had gone different ways lost touch.I didn’t want to go to the reunion.High school was done & thanks to FB I still talked to those I missed.My bff since 4th grade,Tricia,had different ideas though.She wanted to go & was not going alone.She reminded me I forced her to go to prom & now she was doing the same & I was going.We had a time limit:arrive at 8pm & out the door at 9pm.Then I saw Ben & that plan was gone.I believe my words were “OMG Ben grew up hot”.Obviously,we stayed later than 9pm.He was already on my FB list but talking face to face was much different.

After thatFB messages began, then dates which led to a love stronger than anything I’ve ever known.The fun little kid is still there in his personality but he’s a strong,handsome & loving man & my life is infinitely better with him in it.I now have a man who makes me a priority & not an option.My friends are sick of hearing stories of how amazing he is & tell me that they “want a Ben” all the time.

Times have been tough recently due to me loosing my job & as a result I’ve been an emotional wreck.Poor Ben never quite knows what he’s going to walk into when he sees me but it doesn’t stop him from holding my hand & reminding me that one day it will all be ok.He’s stood by me & never once faltered & for that I’m eternally grateful.

Only time will tell where our story will take us.At this point all I can say is that the second phase of our friendship definitely started that night in July & now I’m in love with the most amazing man I’ve ever known.Took 34 years of friendship to get to this point but I wouldn’t have it any other way.We’ve both been through some very tough times in the last 20 years & as a result we have an appreciation for each other & our relationship.This is how God intended it to be for us.To Tricia-Thank you for making me go to the reunion!I can’t imagine my life without Ben & it may have not happened had you not guilted me into going with you that night.

http://interactive.sun-sentinel.com/entertainment/holiday/valentine/2011/02/02/thank-you-high-school-reunion.html

To Snoop or not To Snoop??

Let me start by saying that my position on this issue is to never ever snoop. I recently did it for the first time and as expected it was not a good thing for either one of us. I have always felt that if you do snoop 9 times out of 10 whatever you find will be something that you will not be happy about and on top of it there's a good chance that whatever you are looking at is not what you think it is. Like I said, I did it for the first time and I'll never do it again.

This experience though got me to thinking about it all and of course that led me to asking all of my friends what they thought about this. It was very interesting. There is a definite gender split on this opinion. While all of my female friends agreed with me that I was wrong, every last one of them also added "but I would have done the same thing". All of my male friends on the other hand? Let's just say that they pretty much echoed the guy I snooped on. What cracked me up though was that they all had a snooping story and every last one they added that they were the ones who had something to hide and the real problem wasn't that she snooped but rather that they got caught.

Here's some of the comments I heard....Kevin pointed out that if I felt that I had to snoop then I'm with the wrong person. Interesting way to look at it and I'm sure in a lot of cases true. He also brought up the cell phone issue in saying that a guy with nothing to hide doesn't have a key lock activated on his cell and yet a guy who does have something to hide does. Hmmm.....he has a lock on his screen so what's going on there?

Another friend told me a story of a guy who was on a first date with a woman, left his phone in front of her while he went to the restroom, it rang and the caller ID showed "Baby Momma". Apparently she didn't know that such a person existed in his world and opted to not only end the date right then but left before he returned from the men's room. He was a bit confused...until he saw the call he missed. I'm not sure that really qualifies as snooping though since he left the phone and it rang.

So, what have we learned here? That I should have stuck with my orginal thoughts on snooping and never ever done it. I will never do it again! Once you throw crazy out there you just can't get it back. On the flip side: Guys...be up front from the start. If there's a baby momma, a current jail stint (yep, dated one of those), married to any of my friends (dated him too) or generally anything that may be concerning to her, tell her! Oh and maybe lock that phone.