The Good, The Bad and The Ugly......

Yes, I know it's been a while since I last wrote anything. There's been a lot going on. Mr. 2G2BT and I got engaged and decided that the wedding would be September 28th, 2013. Baby first and then wedding. I know there are those that have their opinions about that so to them: Whatever. For obvious reasons I can't exactly start trying on dresses right now however, I can pick a venue for our reception. I think I have found one but I need my fiance to agree so we will be going to check it out together. Another thing that's kept me busy is that my baby shower was in November. My best friend, Tricia, did an amazing job with it along with my mom and Mr. 2G2BT's mom. I really couldn't have asked for anything to have been any different. It was a perfect day. Then there's the obvious....I've been cooking a new little human being! Our new little man is due January 10th. Yep, you did the math right, that's just 4 days from now. OMG! I can't even begin to wrap my brain around the fact that the due date is already here. So exciting and so scary all at the same time. Along with all of this good stuff, I have learned that pregnancy is a serious roller coaster and there is some good, some bad and some ugly involved. So, before Little Hawk decides to make his appearance, I wanted to share with you some of the highlights of what I have learned.

I think that I am going to take these a little bit out of order and save the good for the end. That means I will start with the bad. Pregnancy is amazing. There's no doubt about it. I don't even have anything that I can compare it to. I mean, there's a whole new person in my belly right now. Does it get any more incredible than that? However, the fact is that not all parts of pregnancy are fun and for some reason, women don't really talk about all of this. Probably why books like "What to Expect when you are Expecting" are so popular. We as pregos just want to know that when funky things happen we are normal. Some of the things that I've encountered are: extreme swelling in just my right foot, total inability to sleep, crying for absolutely no good reason at all, trouble breathing, acid reflux, can't bend over at all which means things like picking things up off the floor or tying shoes is impossible, fingers hurt and can't bend at times and the list goes on. Then there are medical things that I've had to learn about and some can be scary. At what is considered full term I suddenly had to have the 2 hour glucose test. WTF! Why now? After spending the day throwing up from having to drink that nasty stuff, the test thankfully turned out fine. Then there's a phrase I've heard a lot on and off for the last few months...high amniotic fluid. The first time I heard it I did internet research (not a good idea ever) and saw all sorts of horrifying things. I was a wreck! Turns out one of the common causes of this is a large baby. Yep, having one of those. I'll get an updated weight this week but 3 weeks ago the estimation was 7 lbs, 7 oz. Holy crap! Remember where that is supposed to come out of??? And people wonder why I'm freaking out. No tiny little newborn for us. All in all though I have been very very blessed. It has been a complication free pregnancy for the most part and I've had a good time with it. It's only been in this last month that I've gotten miserable and am having a horrible time doing even simply daily tasks. I had a good friend not too long ago come right out and say "I'm going to ask you totally inappropriate questions about being pregnant because we are friends and I know you will answer me." It was so refreshing to talk candidly about the whole experience. I wish that more women would take that approach and just ask each other!

Now for the ugly. Well, we've already talked about my freakishly swollen right foot. The left swells too but who can tell that next to the insanely swollen right foot? It's crazy how much and how quickly it swells. Oh so attractive. My loving man says I have Fred Flinstone feet. I can't even get upset because he's right! While I haven't gained a tremendous amount of weight, it is definitely all in my belly. This definitely kicks me out of the cute prego club. I look huge and a very strange shape. Mr. 2G2BT says that I'm aerodynamic. However, again, this shape has only taken form in the last couple of months. Something else that nobody really talks about is that dark line that pregos get down the middle of their belly. Definitely falls under the ugly category. I hear that this will go away with time after delivery though so really praying that's true. Then there's the maternity clothes. It reaches a point when just nothing looks cute. I don't care how much money you have to spend on clothes. Beauty truly does come from within and regardless of what the celebrity of the month says, you reach a point when you look in the mirror at your body and while you know that what you are doing is beautiful and incredible, you just don't feel beautiful at all. Nope, I feel like a beached whale. Once I admit this out loud, there is always someone else who says that they felt the same way at the end of their pregnancy. Again, why don't women talk about this? While we are on it: designers of maternity clothes, why do almost all tops have a belt? I haven't seen my waist in many many months. Do you think people are going to miss seeing the baby bump if there isn't a belt there? It's kinda stupid if you think about it all. Then there is the pain. Nobody told me that other than labor there would be pain. I expected back pain and kicking me in the ribs pain (there are days when I think his feet are stuck there) but I didn't expect take me out of commission pain. I literally woke up one day and couldn't move. I cry when I try to turn over in bed at night because everything hurts so much, on some days I can't walk at all from the severe abdomen pain, most days just every single step hurts my belly. Forget getting in and out of the car. I don't even have words to describe how that feels. Once again, I learned that this is normal with a big baby. Has to do with his head and that it's causing pressure on well, everything. Warning about this would have been cool! Last week I experienced the infamous Braxton Hicks contractions. Happened for 4 days in a row. I told a co-worker about it and she asked if it was exciting. I told her yes but it also hurt like hell! If actual labor is worse than that I'm not going to live.

The Ugliest thing I've seen so far though has actually been some of the people I've encountered. As we've discussed before, I've had everything from stares to random strangers rubbing my belly. I promise you I'm not Buddha. Good luck will not come your way from rubbing my belly. Quite the opposite actually. What really surprises me though are what I always thought were the basics. People refuse to give up a seat at things like school functions so that I can sit down. I've had drivers actually speed up when I'm crossing a parking lot in the crosswalk. While out shopping, other shoppers have made comments about how slowly I walk and said things such as "I can't believe she goes to the store like that". Just a FYI-I'm pregnant, not terminal. The world did not stop spinning and most specifically, Christmas was still going to happen so there was shopping that still needed to be done. So, I carry on the best I can. There are the comments about my size such as "you must be having twins, I've never seen anyone as big as you that wasn't having twins". These comments come from both strangers and acquaintances alike. However, my personal favorite was at Michael's Craft Store in Boynton Beach. I walked in and stopped to decide to walk straight down the aisle or go to the right to look at the sale items. I was ambushed by the manager and an employee who tried to talk me out of going in the store! Their reasoning was that I looked like something was wrong when I walked in and I was obviously ready to give birth at any moment (I had a month to go). The manager even went so far as to tell me that there wasn't anything in the store that I would like. So, yes dear readers, I would have to say that while there are a lot of physically ugly things about pregnancy people are by far the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I won't be pregnant much longer but the scary thing is that these people will be walking around among us with those personalities and lack of common sense forever.

Now we can get back to the good. Here's the most amazing part....I have a bassinet in our bedroom and any day now there is going to be a whole new person in it! A person that didn't exist 9 months ago! A person who is half me and half Mr. 2G2BT. Out of a friendship that started at 4 years old, there is now going to be a new human being. If that's not mind-blowing I don't know what is. Yes, we have seriously outgrown where we live and yes, we are all going to feel the financial impact of a baby but OMG! There's going to be a new person here! We both have incredible families so the support system is definitely in place. Again, we are very fortunate. As for the relationship between Mr. 2G2BT and I? Stronger than ever. Yes, we have disagreements, we are only human. No, we don't always see everything the same way and there's a lot of compromise going on. However, I see how much he loves me when he looks at me. I feel how protective of me and the kids he is. I appreciate his deep commitment to taking care of us all. Isn't that the part that really matters? I don't expect everything to be rainbows and unicorns but I know that if we work together and listen to each other, we will be OK and make it through. I especially know that when labor does kick in and I'm terrified and in pain, he will be there holding my hand and getting me through it. I can depend on his support then and always. So, while we still have major decisions to make like godparents and a pediatrician, the core of it all is solid. We love each other, respect each other and take care of each other not because we have to but because we want to. I can't wait to see what our adventure holds for us.

There you have it, the good, the bad and the ugly. Right now I'm fighting a wicked sinus infection, in a ridiculous amount of pain with every step I take, look like a beached whale (although Mr. 2G2BT tells me daily that he thinks I'm quite sexy pregnant), get out of breath having a phone conversation, can't keep up with anyone in any capacity, can't get close enough to the kitchen counter to reach anything in the cabinets and haven't had on my beloved high heels in months (gave them up when I almost fell off one) I still think it's the best thing ever. I'm a constant mix of excitement, fear and anxiety. So, if you see my crying for no obvious reason, just be patient with me. I promise I will get better....I hope. If you really want to do something to help though, promise me a martini, margarita or a beer after delivery. What? The baby already has a ton of clothes. I need something more useful for me!

Advice I Have Been Given......

I am going to be nice and call what follows as advice. You are free to form your own opinion. I will state upfront that I do not consider all of it advice. A lot of it I would say falls into the previous post of Stupid Shit People Say To Pregnant Women. Again, you can form your own opinion and please, feel free to let me know your thoughts.

As I went over in the previous post, there are a ton of people who ever since I announced the pregnancy have felt the need to tell me nothing but negative crap. Things like how will you guys afford a baby? Where will you put it since your place is so small? Aren't you worried about your age being a factor? (These are people that I no longer talk to) How will Mr. 2g2bt's kids react? Blah, blah, blah. At this point I just smile and in my head hear the voice of the Charlie Brown teacher. Bite me is all I really can say to these people. Those are things for us to figure out and the rest of you to not be concerned with. It will all work because we love each other, we will find a way to make it work and it has to work out!

Now the people that I really like hearing advice from are the ones that tell me that I look like I'm loosing weight and I need to eat more. These are my fav peeps to talk to. I'm at 7 months now and I've gained less than 20 lbs. However, it is seriously all belly. I really think it's being sucked from other parts of my body, especially my face according to Mr. 2g2bt, and put in my belly. I'm ok with that. I was told just this week that there are two types of pregnant women....those who look cute pregnant and those who look Whoa! pregnant and that I fell into the cute pregnant category. Yes, I did hug this person for saying that.

Then there's the flip side....the ones who feel the need to constantly tell me how big I am. Comments such as the following: "Wow you got huge!", "Are you sure you aren't due until January because you look ready now!", "Doesn't matter what you wear, you are pregnant and you are still going to look huge", "Aren't you uncomfortable being so big?", "You need to slow down on the eating or you will never be able to loose that weight", "This dessert is really good but judging from the looks of you, you need to lay off desserts" and my personal favorite "How dare she show up here in that condition". That last one I've heard at a few places, one of which being the gym. Uuummm...isn't that a great place for me to go "in this condition"? As I've pointed out before, I'm pregnant, not terminal, not Buddah and not without feelings. That being said, let me just point out that according to my doctors I am textbook with my weight gain so far and I eat the same as everyone else, 3 meals a day. To those who are offended when I show up to certain situations and places pregnant and how dare I: I'm so sorry. You see, I'm half Bahamian which means that time management is not my strongest quality. I am so focused on getting ready and getting out the door on time that it never fails...I get halfway to my destination and realize that I totally once again forgot to unpregnate myself! Nothing I can do about it at that point so I just carry on. I always swear to be better about it next time but I once again am always running late. I try to suck in the tummy but just hasn't seemed to work. I am making my promise to the public that I will work on it.

Another favorite category are the people who give me dietary advice. Everything from simple things such as don't eat shellfish, no alcohol, drink lots of water to the over the top such as the woman who took the time to scream at me for drinking a soda and not being a vegetarian. Seriously, she followed me out of a work meeting and screamed at me! I pointed out that my doctor told me I could have one to two caffinated drinks a day and it was fine. I also pointed out that I have maybe 2 caffinated sodas a week (other than that if I need the fizz I have ginger ale). She would not give up. Then she went into the vegan issue. I politely told her to each his own and I am not a fan of veggies, love my cheeseburgers and I'm not interested in being a vegan. Then she asked if I was going to have an all natural birth. My answer was "Hell No!". Oh boy. The lecture again started. Apparently I have not done my research, have no idea what the drugs given during childbirth will do to a baby and I am going to make a horrible mother if this is the choice I am already making. At this point I was about to loose it. I looked at her very intently and told her that I came from a generation where our mothers drank, smoked and even ate tuna fish while pregnant and I was fine so I didn't think my 2 sodas a week were going to do anything horrible to my baby. I also told her that God put those drugs on the earth for a purpose and I planned on accepting anything my nurses/doctors offered to me. Hell, if I had it my way I'd have a little starter pack for at home just to make sure I didn't miss out on any crucial windows of opportunity. I let her know that I fully intended to put my trust in the people who had medical degrees and deliver babies for a living. OMFG! Seriously??? Back off biotch! Ugh! Whatever!

I have also been told about different tricks to make sure the baby is a good sleeper, do/don't drink ____ to help with breastfeeding, that I'll never leave the house once I have a baby (why? I plan on getting the portable kind. Yes, it will take more work but I've seen babies out and about before), blah, blah, blah, Charlie Brown teacher. Then there are the people in my life such as my mom, Mr. 2g2bt's mom, friends, family who have actually honestly and openly answered questions for me. These I appreciate. I'm very lucky to have such a great support system and I know how blessed I am with that. So, to all of you who fall into this category, thank you. One friend even went with me to help me do my baby registry....she's pregnant with baby #3!

I'll leave you with my favorite piece of advice so far. It came from my cousin's little girl. She just turned 5 a little over a week ago. To say that Miss Munchkin is not shy is a huge understatement. After she asked me all sorts of questions such as how does the baby breathe? Is it dark in there for him? she looked at me very seriously and told me that I should drink milk because babies like milk. I told her that I do drink milk because I like it. However, that was really good advice. Then later she kind of killed her credibility when she asked me what his name is going to be. I asked her what she thought it should be and she said that I should name him because I'm the mommy. Then out of nowhere she very emphatically blurted out that his name should be Dopey. Yeah, she's off the baby naming committee. However, at least she cared enough to make a suggestion.

So, my opinionated readers...what's your advice to me? Clearly I can take it all...the good, the bad, the ugly and the WTF are you saying to me? It has been quite an experience and I've still got just over 2 months to go. I have heard everything from the truly heartfelt and out of love advice to the nosey stranger who seems to think they can just say whatever comes to mind. Since apparently baby brain has set in and there are days that I can't seem to form a complete thought much less a sentence out loud, I respond better on some days than on others. Remember the getting into the car on the wrong side incident? Well, tonight I discovered that a box of 2 light bulbs will survive a full cycle in the washing machine. No, I have no idea how they got in there.

Don't give up hope on my readers! One day I pray at least part of my brain will return. Until then, check back again to see what new and intriguing things the public at large has educated me on. Remember....for every martini you have, have an extra one for me since I can't!

Stupid Sh*t People Say to Pregnant Women.....

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to write. I've been gathering my thoughts on this one for quite some time and wanted to make sure I got it all right or actually, I should say I've been gathering everyone else's thoughts for this one. Now, I have to warn you all that this may sound a bit like non-stop bitching and complaining so if you have a problem with that, you may want to stop reading now and check back in when I post again. You see I'm going to let you all in on the stupid shit people have been saying to me over the last few months. Now, as most couples do, we did not tell anyone about the pregnancy until we had reached the 12 week mark and everything was still looking good at the doctor's visits. Some say that is superstitous but we felt it was the right thing to do as there is so much that can go wrong early in a pregnancy. Then as you can imagine it took some time for me to actually look pregnant. Trust me though, when that kicked in, it really kicked in. In the first few weeks and months the most common things I heard were things such as "How are you going to have a baby?", "How can you afford to have a baby?", "Your place is so small, where are you going to put a baby?". Let's take a look at these: How? I figured the same way everyone else does. There really are only two options for how a baby will come out! My body pretty much does all of the cooking on it's own. I'm just along for the ride. Afford? How many people truly can afford to have a baby? Yes, there are the independently wealthy who don't even ever have to think the word budget much less put it to practice but for most of the population, it's all a struggle. You find a way to make it work. Yet are the same people who are questioning me out there questioning every pregnant woman they see? Maybe they are. If finances alone were a deciding factor in having a baby, the human race would end. Kids are freaking expensive and it doesn't end..ever! As for where are we going to put the new baby? I figured we'd keep him indoors. Newsflash..I know our place is crazy small and we don't have room for the adults, kids, pets or stuff that all live there now. I know we are tripping over each other and stuff non-stop. Fact is though, this baby is coming whether we have an extra bedroom or not! Oh and one more question: How is any of this anyone else's business? The constant onslaught of questions about these topics just heighten the fears and questions I've already had myself. I won't even get started on the people who feel the need to point out my age. Let's move on to the size comments. I won't tell you how much I've gained but I will tell you that it's way under 20lbs and my doctor says my weight gain is "textbook perfect". I've been very lucky that it's all belly. One seriously round belly. No doubt about that. You would not believe the things I have hear though. Some of my favorites are as follows: "Are you sure you aren't due until January? As big as you are I don't think they got that right.", "At least you weren't the mammoth size you are now in the middle of the summer.", "You must have a tough time getting clothes to fit as big as you are.", "We have dessert but given the size you already are, I doubt that you need dessert.", "Remember, what goes on must come off and at your age, it's not that easy so you might want to slow down the eating and not each as much.", "You are killing your baby by having that one soda", "What do you mean you are going to have drugs during the delivery? Even an epidural is harmful. You are going to be a horrible mother if those are the kinds of choices you are already making" and my favorite "Wow! Look at how huge you are!". Those are just a few. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on my size. People, I'm pregnant, not without feelings. We as women are taught from a very young age that skinny is beautiful, in shape is beautiful and I was before I got pregnant. However, take that mindset and suddenly have a body that is gaining weight no matter what you do plus some seriously messed up hormones. Yes, it is all for a good cause and I'm still able to exercise so I feel good but comments like these really mess with your mind and your feelings. I still cry at pretty much everything so add to it people constantly telling me I'm huge...yeah, Kleenex should send me thank you notes. Like I said...next time you encounter a pregnant woman, please keep in mind that she's self-conscious enough about her growing size, don't add to her insecurities. Tell her how great she looks. Trust me, it goes a long way. What I really don't get are the total strangers who make comments about my size. Why is this practice ok and when did that start? Then there are the belly rubbers. Oh yes, the belly rubbers. I personally have never understood this one bit however, I was prepared for it. I'm not a fan of it but I know people are going to do it. When family and close friends do it, for some reason it doesn't bother me. Hoever, when total strangers do it..that just creeps me out. I really don't get it. If you saw a stranger in the grocery store that wasn't pregnant, would you go rub her belly? Then why is it ok to do it to a pregnant woman? Again, I don't get it. Just to give you one example, I was walking in the gym when a man appeared out of nowhere and started rubbing my belly and said "I just love how a pregnant belly feels. What you are doing is so beautiful". I smiled politely and tried to keep walking....and so did he only he was still rubbing me! Finally, I just told him that I am not Buddah and he will not get any sort of good luck or extra wishes for rubbing me so to stop. He of course looked shocked that I would say such a thing and stomped away. Last I checked though, I still own this tummy! This has happened so many times that recently when I was at Fuku Restaurant in West Palm Beach I stood next to the giant Buddah and pointed out that I look nothing like him. Let's not forget the women who feel the need to tell me their personal horror stories. Stories of being on bedrest for months, hospitalized for weeks, birth defects, labor that lasted days, how bad childbirth hurts, etc. Like I need to hear this? Just incase I'm not scared enough. Oh and even my ultrasound tech at the doctor's office felt the need to tell me a story about a woman who she examined and had to tell her that her baby had no toes! No toes! She was telling me this while I was on the exam table. No woman wants to hear a story like that at that time. Really, we are all aware that these things can happen and that there are a million things that can go wrong at anytime but wouldn't it be more productive to offer encouragement to the preggo chick? Just a thought. Now it hasn't all been bad so I will leave you with a laugh. While it is still true that I am an emotional wreck and cry at pretty much everything and nothing, I do laugh at myself quite a bit too. For example, everytime I see my stomach jump I can't help but laugh. Yes, my back does hurt and this little one seems to hate my ribs but for some reason it's just a funny thing to see. There's another human in there! How freaky is that? The best thing so far was the day I got into my own car on the wrong side. Yep, I did that. I was leaving for work and in a rush (shocker, I know). I gathered all of my stuff for the day, went into the garage and climbed into my truck. I situated myself complete with seatbelt and waited..and waited..and waited...and couldn't figure out why nothing was happening. I mean, it was getting hot in there, the radio wasn't coming on and I wasn't going anywhere. I'm late! I've got to go! Then I realized that the car wasn't on. Yep, that's the problem. Can't go anywhere without the car on and to top it off the keys were still in my hand. I can fix that. So, I went to start the car and that's when I realized it...I was sitting in the passenger seat! What was I doing? Waiting for my chauffeur? Well, Mr. 2g2bt had the nerve to be at work that day so the chauffeur thing wasn't going to work out. I couldn't stop laughing. Then I tried to figure out if I could crawl over the center console so that no nosy neighbors wouldn't see me get out of the passenger side and back in the driver's side. I decided that this belly wasn't going to do that very gracefuly so better take my chances and just get out the same way I got in. I've heard about baby brain and had really hoped that it wouldn't get me too hard but I'm thinking that was the start to it all and it's here. So, if you are ever having a bad day just ask yourself if you got into the correct side of the car that morning. If you can say yes, then know that it can always be worse and feel free to have a laugh on me. Really, it's ok. I'm still laughing at myself over this one. The moral of all of this you may be asking? Well, people have no filters and a lot of them have no social graces. Pregnant women are not without feelings, we are emotional wrecks and your comments can cause us to cry all day, we are not Buddah and rubbing our bellies will not give you good luck and most importantly, remember that the left side of your car is actually the right side to be. Keep smiling and check back soon for more adventures in preggo land! This adventure is only starting.

Yes, he put a ring on it!

Yes, boys and girls, Mr. 2g2bt put a ring on it. As I said in my last post we had already decided that we were going to get married but we didn't have an actual plan for it yet except that it would be sometime next year. We talked about next fall. Well, last week for 3 days he started singing the "I know something you don't know" song. No, really...it's an actual song and he even had a dance for it. Actually, 2 dances for it. Al lhe would tell me is that it was something I was going to love. 3 days I had to hear this...by text, in person, in the morning, in the night, you name it. I kept listening to everything he said very closely. He mentioned that he would tell me the information on Friday evening. Ok, so it's info, not an object. That narrows it down a bit. Maybe we were going out of town? Maybe he got tickets to the Dolphins game? He knows I want to go to one before baby gets here. Maybe he has info about us moving? Who knows! My mind was working overtime coming up with scenarios. Then Friday night came. I went to a fundraiser meeting and when I got home as soon as I walked in the door I heard the song "I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know" over and over again. I get to the table where he's sitting and there are flowers and a note telling me that the something he knows is in the bathroom. Ok, this works out well since I had a very large iced tea at the meeting and at 6 months pregnant the bathroom is somewhere I frequent a lot. So, I go into the bathroom and there's another note sending me to the other bathroom. As you guessed it, there I found another note. This one telling me that it is behind the laundry room door. Ugh! Now it was killing me...and I stil had to pee. Then the note in the laundry room said to look under my pillow. Ok, this has to be where I'll find my surprise. Nope, that note said that my surprise was back where I started by my flowers and I must not have seen it there when I started. So, I go back to the table and now instead of the orignal note, there's a very pretty box under my flowers and Mr. 2g2bt has a huge grin. I opened the box and there was my ring. My very sparkly pretty ring. No, it's not celebrity size, print in the tabloids ring but it's mine. The best part? He actually took it from me, got on one knee and asked me to marry him. After all of the non-traditional things we've done, he actually got on one knee and asked. I cried a little but I think I did a good job of covering that. So, now it's official. We are engaged. Wait, we were before too. Ok, so now I have something very sparkly to look at every day that tells the world we are engaged. Something that makes me smile everytime I see it because he took the time to pick it out, go buy it, create a scavenger hunt for me and he got on one knee all because he loves me. Yep, me...Miss Cynical about relationships just said all of that. Told you he was Mr. 2g2bt. Told you this journey was far from over. I'm in it and I'm still being surprised. Even I have no idea what to expect next. Well, one thing I do know for sure, there's a smaller version of the two of us cooking away and I decided I am going to go get a pedicure one of these days. Maybe next Friday, seems like a worthy day. Ok, so I guess there's 2 things I know for sure to expect. Once again, the moral of this story? Do not forget about the boy you meet at age 4 while you are playing t-ball and always go to your high school reunion. You just have no idea where it can take your life. Thanks again for that, Tricia. You rock! I guess I'm technically not a singleton but you know that I am always going to be one of the original singletons so ladies (and gentlemen) raise your martini glasses and until at least January, have an extra one for me! Stay tuned....who knows what will happen next!

Oh Boy.....Life has changed and the changes just keep on coming!!

Hello Singletons! Long time no chat, right? Well, sorry about that but I've been a bit busy over the last year...and I'm not quite so single anymore. Yep, you read that right, Mr. 2g2bt is still around. Not only around but we've been together for 2 years now. I know! Can you believe it? All because Tricia called in a 20 year old favor and made me go to our high school reunion. Yep, we were going to stay an hour and get out of there. Then Mr. 2g2bt walked in and suddenly I saw a reason to stay longer. Thank you again Tricia!!!! Here's a quick update on my life since we last talked: I've changed jobs again. Freakin economy! Mr. 2g2bt and I live together and we have his kids part time. Our place is ridiculously small for all of us and all of our stuff but so far we've made it work and everyone has a good time. Here's the biggest news though...I'm pregnant! Yes, take a moment to digest that one. It's ok, I'll wait. Took me some time to get used to it. Ok, are you back? Yeah, I'm pregnant and due early in January. Oh and we are getting married at some point next year as well. We were going to try to plan a wedding and have it before I looked like a whale but you know what? I really still want to have a big day. You know, the wedding all little girls dream about. Yes, it's silly and the money it will cost could be put towards more practical use but I still didn't want to give that up. So add that to the craziness of getting ready for a baby, I just decided I couldn't do it all at once without my head exploding and we decided to wait. I mean seriously, the secret is out..we've already had sex. Shhhh...don't tell anyone! I've gotta tell you that this whole being pregnant thing is quite a unique experience. It took a while for the concept to sink in. It's strange when you don't look any different and it's not like you are feeling the baby kick as soon as you pee on the stick! All sorts of things started flooding through my mind. Can I be a good parent? How will we afford this? Where will be put the baby when we don't have room for the people and pets that already live here? Will my feet grow leaving my 100+ pairs of shoes useless to me? What if the baby doesn't like me? No, I'm just kidding on that one. Of course the baby will like me, I'm me! Seriously! I was 5 weeks along when I found out and Mr. 2g2bt wanted to wait until I was 12 weeks before we told anyone so I felt like I had this huge secret that I was walking around with. Wait, I did. Well, we finally told everyone and there were tears, cheers, laughing and everything else you can imagine. If the emotions I've been feeling so far are any indication, this is going to be a wild ride. I seem to cry at absolutely everything. Doesn't matter if it's a happy reason, a sad reason, a TV commercial, a thought or a look someone gave me. My favorite was the day I had a total meltdown because I got a new phone and my music didn't transfer. I was hysterical even though logically I knew that all I had to do was plug it into the computer and load it up again. No biggie. The more I realized this, the more I laughed and the more I continued to cry...all at the same time. Then there are the moments that I'm crying and even I don't know why. Oh yeah, this is fun. Fashion has been interesting too. There were several months that my clothes didn't really fit me but maternity clothes were still too big. In my convoluted mind I thought if I just bought jeans a size bigger they would button comfortably and hold me over. I knew how absurd this idea was at the time but I still went ahead with the plan. That was an amusing trip to Kohl's. I'm pretty sure that you should not break a sweat while trying on jeans. I was determined though and bought 2 pairs. I wore them each once. Comfort was not a word that came to mind at the end of the day. However, I still looked good and that's all that mattered. I did the obligatory baby registries (Babies R Us and Target incase any of you want to shop for us) and that was quite an experience. I took a friend with me who is a mother of 2 and pregnant right now with her 3rd. If she suggested it, I zapped it. I mean really, there are so many different brands of everything! Once again my head was about to explode and had the ure to cry. With her help and my mom's help, I made it through and I think got rather carried away with the zapper so my apologies for all of the random things on the list. Then there are the insanly rude comments I get from people. Keep in mind that I've gained less than 10lbs and I'm almost 6 months along. I'm doing ok, it's just all belly. There are the people who tell me that I look like I'm getting thinner everywhere else but my face. I like those people. I'm convinced that my belly is just sucking the weight from other parts of my body. I'm fine with that. However, not a day goes by that someone doesn't tell me how huge I am. Total strangers at that! Once I was asked if I was having twins, a couple of days ago I was asked if I was due next month and I said no. Then her response was "really? Are you sure? As big as you are I can't believe you still have that long to go." I've gotten much better at just smiling. It used to reduce me to tears, then again everything does. Here's a public service announcement....I'm pregnant, not without feelings! Not to mention that I have seen preggos that were huge, had a few in our family as well as friends, and I am not even close to where they were in size so back off people! Maybe I should rename this blog to Stupid Shit People Say to Preggos! So my fellow Singletons, continue on this journey with me. I promise it won't be uneventful. As I'm typing this Mr. 2g2bt is doing his "I Know Something You Don't Know" Dance and singing the song the song by the same name. Apparently he has a surprise for me. I've been told I'll be let in on the secret tomorrow. Normally I invite you to raise your martini glasses with me as we carry on. My martini glass will have a Shirley Temple in it but I'm still there with you in spirit and I expect each of you to have one extra martini for me!

When did I turn into this?

Seriously singletons, who am I? I know who I am but the fact that I'm happier than ever and that really confuses me and again, makes me happier than ever. Mr. 2g2bt is out of town and I realized tonight that one call from him makes my whole day. Really? When did that happen? I used to be anti-relationship. I did all of that. When my friend were out "messing around" I spent a good 10 years in relationships. I had my twneties in my thirties. I was in a relationship staring at 16 and spent a better partof my 20's in front of a detective. This made me think a lot about my life. My world right now is back to what it was a year ago and yet it seems really empty. The house is empty, I'm bored and I'm waiting for the phone to ring so I can fall alseep. When did this happen? I can answer that...about July, 2010. I know, the first date wasn't until August 20, 2011 but really, my mind was taken over in July, 2010. Again..thank you Tricia for making me go to the reunion. I'm glad I made you go to senior prom.

I think about all the things that have happened in my life, both the good and bad and I know that they have made me who I am. Of course I wish my Dad was still here....he would be so happy that I was with Mr. 2g2bt....and I wish I hadn't gone through the 10 years of hell with psycho boy but at the same time, if I hadn't dealt with it all, I wouldn't be who I am now. It's very true, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

There's good and bad in that. I know that there are 3 sides to every story (his, hers and the truth) but I also have built up a wall because I was sick of getting hurt. However Mr. 2g2bt has destroyed that wall. I have given him my whole heart. He's either going to cherish it forever or destroy it at some point but either way he's more than worth it. He's not perfect and neither am I but he's also kind and caring and he loves me with his whole heart. In the whole process his family had accepted me and my family and to me that's very important. I love him more than words can say and I miss him. Wish he would come home already.

What I am saying, singletons is don't give up. Mr. 2g2bt and I haven't always had the easiset of roads but what we do know is this....we love each other and aren't willing to give up. During the bumps along the road, that's really a big deal. Daddy, I love you with all my heart and I miss you so much that some days it physically still hurts but through your death I learned who I was and I can handle just about anything now because I've already survived the worst.

I'm baaaaaack!!!!

Hello Singletons!!!! Miss me? Wonder where I've been? Well, a lot has been going on. As you read back in February, I stopped the random serial dating and actually met someone who slowed me down enough for a relationship. Well, guess what? I'm still with him. Even better than that...Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True is still around. Not only that, we've been together for almost a year now. Things have been great. Don't get me wrong, there have been bumps for sure but at the core of it all is a sincere happiness so we always work the bumps out.

All of this has been great however, it did pretty much kill my writing career. Gone are my days of getting hit on by random guys. Gone are my days of having to run in my high heels from a guy who was angry at me because a stranger had a Channel purse. Gone are my days of scheduling 2 dates in one night. Stop judging me, you know you've done it too. Gone are the days of guys way too young for me, guys who had girlfriends but refused to admit it, guys who take off their wedding rings while standing in front of me. That one actually happened again not too long ago so I guess those days aren't quite gone yet. Gone are the days of stupid small talk trying to figure out what the story is behind someone and if they are telling the truth or not. Basically, gone are the games that us singletons are forced to play. What has it all be replaced by? Well, to give you an idea, last night was Saturday night and both Mr. 2g2bt and I were excited for the dishwasher to finish to see if the new detergent was as good as we hoped. Seriously! Let me back it up a bit though and explain.

Mr. 2g2bt and I both have done our share of late nights, regretable stories, bad and good relationships, and everything in between both good and bad. We are both at a point in our lives that we are sick of playing the games. If you read my column, you know that we have known each other since we were 4. We went to school together all the way through high school. We lost touch after high school graduation and reconnected at our 20 year reunion. I'm obligated at this point to say...THANK YOU TRICIA FOR FORCING ME TO GO!!! She requires that I say that and it's well deserved. During that 20 years after graduation, he got married, had 2 kids, got divorced and go back on his feet. I had 3 very serious relationships, had my heart broken, dated a bunch of randoms and was convinced that real, true and honest love just wouldn't find me. Guess what? It did!

Mr. 2g2tb and I are both pretty done with the wild all night partying. We did our time and now we are just thankful that we don't have to play the games anymore and are so happy to have each other to come home to. We both work full time, have great families and each have our separate interests to we really do appreciate quiet time at night watching tv together. Don't get me wrong, we do go out, we just aren't looking for the eternal party anymore. My sister warned me that this happened as you get older but I didn't believe her. Sorry, Cheri. You were right. Add to this that as I mentioned, my sexy man has 2 kids so we do as much with them as we can when we have them with us. At the end of those days, I seriously am not thinking about who is at the pub or what I'm missing. I'm just looking forward to my bed.

Back to the new dishwasher detergent.....Mr. 2g2bt and I now live together. It's temporary. He needed to leave the rental he was in and wasn't given much notice so rather than sign a year lease on something he wasn't sure of he moved in with me since I own my place. I know the day will come that he moves out and I'm dreading it. I won't be angry, just sad. The house will look and feel so empty and lonely without him and the kids. So, I'm just enjoying each day and trying to remind myself to make the most of it. He knows though that I don't want him to leave.

Living together has brought about a new dynamic. I didn't know entirely what to expect so I kept an open mind. It's been great. I love pulling up to the garage and seeing that he's already home or if I get home first, I can't wait to hear that click when his key unlocks the door. We've had to make allowances for each other and we've both learned a lot about each other but our relationship is stronger because of it. Don't get me wrong, it's not all perfect. For example, is there a reason that I have to beg and plead to get him to help me clean? However, when the begging and pleading does happen, he does things like today when he hand scrubbed the bathroom floors so it definitely all works out. We have the ability to have a good time and laugh together no matter what we are doing. Which again brings us to the dishwasher detergent.

Last night we went grocery shopping together. The first time if you can believe that. We needed dishwasher detergent and both agreed that what we had before just wasn't doing the trick so we got something a little more expensive. We laughed at the grocery store about how we couldn't wait to run the dishwasher to try it, got home and my man cooked me dinner and then I put the dishes in the dishwasher. This is where the night really got funny. He just couldn't wait so he started the dishwasher. While it was running, we were on the couch and joking about turning off the tv and going into the bedroom to well, you know. I said that if we did that then we would miss when the dishwasher stopped. He came up with a plan to have a quickie and then be back out in the family room before the dishwasher stopped. I couldn't stop laughing because in less than a year my Saturday nights had gone from drunken apple martini nights to being excited about new dishwasher detergent. Mr. 2g2bt felt bad but I told him that I was laughing because I really was excited to see if the new detergent worked.

So, here's what it's come to....I wait for the dishwasher to stop and I'm happy about it. In that moment last night I realized that there was nowhere else in the world I'd rather be. I was laughing and having fun with the love of my life and that was what the real change in my life had been in the last year. I wouldn't change it for the world. If you were wondering, the new detergent did work for the most part. Join me in my new chapter of the single lane.

Thank You High School Reunion!

Hello fellow singletons! It's been a long time since I've shared with you and for that I apologize. There is a really good reason for it though....I'm in love! Yep, me! I know! Go figure. Someone finally got me to slow down. He's the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Now I'm asking for you all to help me out. See, I've entered a contest and I need every vote I can get. Something else that's happened in the last few months is that I lost my job. Therefore, I don't have the means to do much for Valentine's Day and would really like to win this contest and take my amazing man out to dinner. Please read the story below, click on the link and vote for us! Share with your friends too!!!

Ben & I first met at age 4 on the same t-ball team.We then went to school together from 3rd grade through high school graduation.I admit that all during middle school I had a huge crush on Ben.He even made me his girlfriend for a brief time-until he broke up with me for Rachael.Somewhere I still have the Valentine’s card he gave me in about 5th grade.I still remember my Dad saying in 4th grade that I’d be lucky if I found a guy like Ben-when I was over 30 of course & allowed to date.

Move to our 20 yr high school reunion.Ben & I had gone different ways lost touch.I didn’t want to go to the reunion.High school was done & thanks to FB I still talked to those I missed.My bff since 4th grade,Tricia,had different ideas though.She wanted to go & was not going alone.She reminded me I forced her to go to prom & now she was doing the same & I was going.We had a time limit:arrive at 8pm & out the door at 9pm.Then I saw Ben & that plan was gone.I believe my words were “OMG Ben grew up hot”.Obviously,we stayed later than 9pm.He was already on my FB list but talking face to face was much different.

After thatFB messages began, then dates which led to a love stronger than anything I’ve ever known.The fun little kid is still there in his personality but he’s a strong,handsome & loving man & my life is infinitely better with him in it.I now have a man who makes me a priority & not an option.My friends are sick of hearing stories of how amazing he is & tell me that they “want a Ben” all the time.

Times have been tough recently due to me loosing my job & as a result I’ve been an emotional wreck.Poor Ben never quite knows what he’s going to walk into when he sees me but it doesn’t stop him from holding my hand & reminding me that one day it will all be ok.He’s stood by me & never once faltered & for that I’m eternally grateful.

Only time will tell where our story will take us.At this point all I can say is that the second phase of our friendship definitely started that night in July & now I’m in love with the most amazing man I’ve ever known.Took 34 years of friendship to get to this point but I wouldn’t have it any other way.We’ve both been through some very tough times in the last 20 years & as a result we have an appreciation for each other & our relationship.This is how God intended it to be for us.To Tricia-Thank you for making me go to the reunion!I can’t imagine my life without Ben & it may have not happened had you not guilted me into going with you that night.

http://interactive.sun-sentinel.com/entertainment/holiday/valentine/2011/02/02/thank-you-high-school-reunion.html

To Snoop or not To Snoop??

Let me start by saying that my position on this issue is to never ever snoop. I recently did it for the first time and as expected it was not a good thing for either one of us. I have always felt that if you do snoop 9 times out of 10 whatever you find will be something that you will not be happy about and on top of it there's a good chance that whatever you are looking at is not what you think it is. Like I said, I did it for the first time and I'll never do it again.

This experience though got me to thinking about it all and of course that led me to asking all of my friends what they thought about this. It was very interesting. There is a definite gender split on this opinion. While all of my female friends agreed with me that I was wrong, every last one of them also added "but I would have done the same thing". All of my male friends on the other hand? Let's just say that they pretty much echoed the guy I snooped on. What cracked me up though was that they all had a snooping story and every last one they added that they were the ones who had something to hide and the real problem wasn't that she snooped but rather that they got caught.

Here's some of the comments I heard....Kevin pointed out that if I felt that I had to snoop then I'm with the wrong person. Interesting way to look at it and I'm sure in a lot of cases true. He also brought up the cell phone issue in saying that a guy with nothing to hide doesn't have a key lock activated on his cell and yet a guy who does have something to hide does. Hmmm.....he has a lock on his screen so what's going on there?

Another friend told me a story of a guy who was on a first date with a woman, left his phone in front of her while he went to the restroom, it rang and the caller ID showed "Baby Momma". Apparently she didn't know that such a person existed in his world and opted to not only end the date right then but left before he returned from the men's room. He was a bit confused...until he saw the call he missed. I'm not sure that really qualifies as snooping though since he left the phone and it rang.

So, what have we learned here? That I should have stuck with my orginal thoughts on snooping and never ever done it. I will never do it again! Once you throw crazy out there you just can't get it back. On the flip side: Guys...be up front from the start. If there's a baby momma, a current jail stint (yep, dated one of those), married to any of my friends (dated him too) or generally anything that may be concerning to her, tell her! Oh and maybe lock that phone.

Really guys...if you are gonna lie at least make it good one!

I know, it's been a long time since I've written. Sorry about that. Few things have been going on. Most recently I organized and hosted another fundraiser for Forgotten Soldiers Outreach (www.forogttensoldiers.org). It was a rainy night and yet we had a good crowd and raised quite a bit of money. Just in case working full time, writing, hosting speed dating parties and organizing fundraisers wasn't enough to keep me busy...I'm buying a small business. Yep, the self-confessed shoe addict is buying a personalized flip flop business. I'm excited. Funky Flopz & More will be open for sales any day now.

That's not why you read my words though, I know. You want to know the dirt. I went out Friday night with a friend from high school. After dinner and margaritas we headed to Blue Martini in CityPlace. This is where the stories really got started. We had a blast drinking, dancing and yes, talking to pretty much anyone who talked to us. No reason to be rude to anyone! There are three that stood out...first was a man who was at a table with a large group of both men and women. He came over, introduced himself to me and asked me to dance. Very nice so far. Then came a very angry woman who said "Bitch, I hope you don't mind if I steal my husband back". Mind you, she watched him walk over to me, talk to me and ask me to dance yet it took that long for her to do something about it. He spent the rest of the night trying to apologize to me and telling me she was drunk and not only are they not married but not even dating. I kept politely telling him that was fabulous but way too much drama for me to get involved in. She spent the rest of the night stalking me. Seriously, my friend and I thought for sure she was going to hurt me. I even made a friend's husband who was there promise to help if she came after me. Guys, if you are going to lie, pick a better lie. That one just wasn't cool.

Memorable man #2 was about 60 years old and kept telling me how cute my friend was. I kept suggesting to him that maybe he should tell her that instead of me. He kept telling us that he was the owner of Blue Martini. He stuck with this line for so long that I finally started asking him questions about the details of running a place like that. He didn't have an answer for any of it. Then I asked him to get us drinks. I went to the bar with him, he ordered, the bartender gave him the drinks...and then gave him a bill. Now, wouldn't the owner just be able to ask and be given the drinks? Wouldn't the bartenders recognize the owner and maybe smile at him? Again...if you are going to lie, don't pick one that can so easily be shot down.

Memorable man #3 didn't lie but he still stood out. He was a very nice 25 year old Columbian guy who danced with us for quite some time. He was fun but that really was where my friend and I intended to leave it. However, as we were leaving he asked me for my phone number. Here's the thing about me, when I drink and am single, I tend to be a serial phone number giver outer. I know. Bad. I get it. We weren't back in the car 10 minutes and he was texing already. He asked us for a threesome. Yeah, you read that right. Even after he didn't get a response to that request, he still continued to text me all last night. Again, didn't get a response.

Here's the shocking part of this all. Out of all of these guys, the one that is the most memorable of them all is the one who was 20 minutes away and volunteered to come save me from crazy stalker wife. He's the one I never saw coming and yet was willing to help. Here's you bigger lesson guys....tell the truth and always be honest. There may be a woman out there who never saw you entering her world but is pleasantly surprised that did.

Is the weekend really over already????

Hello Singletons. It's Sunday night, I hope that you had a fabulous weekend. Mine wasn't too bad, thanks for asking. Got to spend time with good friends, kids (one of which is my godson), family and celebrate a friend's upcoming birth of twins. Yep, it was an action packed weekend. Not much of a man weekend but that was ok.

Dinner last night with my friend, Sylvia, was good for some laughs. We had a parade of random men coming to our table to talk to us about basically nothing. It all started with our waiter. He was very nice and very chatty. He did have an excellent suggestion on an upgraded margarita. Thanks to him for that. However, he also kept coming back to ask how it was and have 10 minute conversations about them. Thought it was a bit odd but we rolled with it. He was nice. Then there was the guy that brought out our food and then asked me if I would mind if he came back in a few minutes to ask me what it tasted like. Uuummm....ok. This one sent Sylvia into a laughing fit. I swear she almost spit out her margarita (btw...thanks for not doing that). When he walked away her comment was "never a dull moment with you around, is it?". It was a strange evening. Did I mention the cutie who was sitting at the table behind us and seemed mesmerized staring at me but never said a word?

It was a good night out and we laughed....a lot...and I must highly recommend the Presidente Margarita at Chili's. However, it did just kind of reinforce the fact that I attract a strange breed of men. They were all very nice but each a bit on the odd side. While I can say with confidence that not one was the man the red panties are going to bring me, the attention was kind of nice and definitely gave us something to laugh at. Hmmm....maybe I need to move to Plantation and give the red panties a helping hand.

So maybe he wasn't the one the red panties are going to bring me..

Hello all! I know it's been quite some time since I've written and I apologize. See, I promised a friend of mine that I wouldn't write about a certain man that was temporarily in my life. However...he's gone so gloves off so to speak!

We will just call him Mr. Second Time Around. Yep, he's the one from Valentine's Day. Had a great 12 hour date and then poof! He was gone. Haven't seen him since and hear from him sporadically. I was really hurt and very depressed over it until I took a look back and realized....this is kinda the same thing that happened the last time we dated! I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's a pattern of his. Then I went through all of the usual...anger, hurt, exercising like crazy to take my mind off of it, called all my friends and bitched up a storm. You know the routine. We've all done it. Now I'm at the point where I say....not much for me to do about it so on to the next one? Anyone want to submit an application? The job is open.

So, while I have friends who are more than open to the second time around relationship but I've come to the conclusion that while I believe that everyone makes mistakes and deserves a second chance, maybe the second time around relationship may not be for me. I still believe in the power of the red panties and I've still got three quarters of the year left so again....feel free to apply if you think the position is for you! Looking for Mr. Red!

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

Hello fellow Singleton's! I hope that everyone had a fabulous Valentine's Day yesterday. I know I haven't written in a while but I started dating someone new and I promised a friend of mine that I wouldn't write about him....so I haven't. Guess what, I'm sort of kind of going to break that promise right now.

I had what was probably one of the best Valentine's Days yesterday that I've ever had. I've had some pretty great ones too. There was my college boyfriend who decorated the lounge in my dorm building to look like a fancy restaurant and cooked me dinner, the boyfriend who took me to Vegas the weekend before Valentine's Day and yet, yesterday was quite possibly better than both of those. You see, we spent the entire day together doing perfectly ordinary things and had a great time. Seriously. We went to the mall, to lunch, to the Garlic Fest in Delray, had a drink at Boston's, and ended the day with a movie from Blockbuster. Yes, he did give me roses and chocolate and a rhinestoned Miami Dolphins baseball cap (big points for that one in my world) but none of that compared to just spending the day together and having fun.

You may think I'm a bit off my stilettos on that one but think about it...it's pretty easy to have a good time with someone over a fancy dinner on a holiday. Don't get me wrong, I like that very much too but we just started dating. Valentine's Day presents a lot of unnecessary pressure to a budding romance. Plus, I think that if you can spend a day doing things like running errands and be perfectly happy doing it because you are with someone you really like, then that screams volumes. It's a really good sign of compatibility in my world. So, I think I'll keep running errands and laughing with my new man. So far, the red panties on New Year's Eve are still working their magic. Yeah, I know, it's just a superstition but seriously, who am I hurting?

Happy Groundhog Day!!!!

Welcome to February! According to Phil we have 6 more weeks of winter to look forward to. I live in South Florida so that doesn't really affect me too much. Anything below 70 degrees is considered winter here. Doesn't stop me from catching my usual winter sinus infection though. Yeah, you read that right, I'm home sick. Missed work and everything. That's not like me. Normally, I'm fine with the fact that I'm single but not today. Today, it sucks. This is one of those times when I wish that there was someone here to take care of me. Usually, I have a hard time allowing others to take care of me but not when I'm sick. When I'm sick I turn into a big baby and I want someone to bring me ice cream and shirley temples. Stop laughing! Everyone has their comfort foods/drinks when they get sick. Who are you to judge mine?

There's actually been a lot going on in my single world lately but I made a promise to a very good friend that I would not write about it and as much as it is killing me to not share it with all of you, so far I'm keeping that promise. Suffice it to say that there is someone that if I called and asked I think he might come over and pamper me but trust me, this is not a look that I need for him to see just yet.

So, what's the point of all of this other than for me to whine about being sick and single? Not much else. Just admitting that while I am fine with being single and enjoy the freedoms that it brings, there are times that having someone bring me ice cream and shirley temples would be nice too. Hmmm....maybe I should give in and make a phone call. Nah, I'll spare him that view...this time.

Seriously????

Ok, so I know I haven't written in a while. Not much has been going on. Typical things of working, going to the gym and spending time with family but nothing of much interest in the single world. Still not a whole lot going on but now I have a question I must share with the world....why do men continue to think it's ok to text at 3am? Really! Normally this isn't much of an issue in my world. This week however, I've gotten 3 such text messages and not all from the same man either! I thought I had deleted all of those men who considered me their back up plan. Guess I have some more deleting to do.

I don't want you to get the idea, I'm not one of those people who get mad if the phone rings after 10pm. I don't care if it rings in the middle of the night. I can always go back to sleep. There just should be a real purpose. You know, family emergency, friends in trouble, that special someone in your life who just can't get you off their mind, a call from overseas, things like that. Not hey we are at a bar come meet us. Especially not on a Wednesday night. I haven't heard from you in a week and that's when you think of me? No thanks, I have a full time job so therefore chances are good that at 3am on a weeknight I'm sleeping because I have to get up for work in a few hours. For some reason, there are still a group of men who find it acceptable to only contact a woman in the middle of the night to simply come meet them at a bar. While it's nice to be thought of, if you haven't thought of me at any other time and made an effort then you aren't making an effort now, you are still just putting me in your "maybe girl" category. Nah, doesn't fit into my New Year's Goal plan. I know I'm worth an effort and so is the person who will be special to me and I know I wouldn't wait to contact him until 3am.

Yes, I am a freak magnet

I was talking to a couple of my friends at work today about the men I have dated over the years. You might be wondering how this came up and think it's unusual chatter for a work environment. Not in my office. We have to talk about these things in an effort to stay sane. This conversation in particular started because I received a rather weak date invitation earlier today. It was a text that was something to the effect of "Try to come to the fair tonight and maybe meet me". I erased it so I can't tell you word for word but it was along those lines. Let me review this....Drive to the fair on opening night which we all know is very crowded. Fight the traffic to park, pay the admission and then once inside try to call and text you to find you so that then our date can begin. Yeah, gonna pass on that. Now had I been asked to go with someone to the fair might have been a different story. You know, ride together, go in together, walk the fair together, etc. Like a date.

Anywhoo.....this conversation I had with my co-workers was with one female friend and one male friend. Both have twisted senses of humor like I do so pretty much anything goes and that's fine by me. So, after catching our male friend (we do have a nickname for him but I'll leave that out because there is a chance he will read this) up on the conversation he looked at me and said "How do you find these people?". So true and such a good question. This lead into a conversation about some of the highlights. I'll give you just a few.

There was the guy who told me over appetizers that he was still in jail. Yeah, you read that right. He was on work release and at the tail end of the sentence but jail none the less. Oddly enough it was a really good date and that wasn't the reason I stopped seeing him. It was on our second date when pretty much out of no where he unzipped his pants and shall we say put a present in my hand. Yeah, then looked at me like I was the one in the wrong. That was enough of him for me. Shame too, he seemed really nice. Oh and he's out now in case anyone is wondering.

There was the guy that on our first date gave me the rules to being with him and went through a list of what needed to change with me if our "relationship was going to continue". Uh-huh. I did my best to put him in his place...for like 2 hours...but when I could see that it wasn't going to go anywhere good I ditched him. When he figured it out he actually came back. At that point I was chatting with the bartender who also happened to be a friend of mine. He didn't like that, screamed at me and demanded his $5 tip back. Yeah. My friend gave him double the tip back and told him not to come back.

Then there was the guy who got mad at me because I wanted to stay at the bar that we were at to watch a football game. May I add that it was a private party we were at with all of my friend, free food and free drinks!!!! So, we left. Later in the night we were sitting at a bar and a total stranger at the other end of the bar had a Channel purse. Wouldn't think this was a problem would you? Oh but apparently it was. My date started talking about how much it cost and how crazy that was. I thought he was kidding until he started screaming at me about it and about materialism and shallowness. The more he yelled, the harder I laughed which just got him angrier. It got to the point where I left and the bouncers stopped him when he tried to chase me down in the parking lot.

There have been others along the way such as the lilipucian, the guy who showed up to my house with a back pack and pulled a bong and a bag of weed out of it (call him Have Bong Will Travel), the guy who was tatooed and pierced like crazy that my cat and my rabbit tried to kill (he left me alone watching football while wearing a bikini so he could take his cat to the mall to see Santa), the guy who was engaged but wanted to take me out because "afterall you have to keep your options open", and the list goes on. So yeah, as my friend today pointed out I am a freak magnet. I'm currently searching for a cure so if you know of one, please, let me know. I'm ready have a good and normal dating story to tell!

So far so good.....

So, did you make any New Year's Resolutions? I call mine New Year's Goals. I think that by calling it a resolution it's something I subconsciously expect to accomplish right away and all at once. A goal however, is something that I can work towards, understand that it takes time and effort and be very proud of myself when I reach it. One of my New Year's Goals for 2010 was to eliminate all of the people, places, relationships, etc. that I just know are not good for me. Whether it be that they make me feel sad, bad about myself, play stupid games, are not the friends to me that they expect me to be to them (and I am because I'm just like that), or hurt my feelings on a regular basis...they needed to go. In other words, people places, relationships that are toxic in my life.

It started New Year's Eve. My phone started blowing up with texts from guys I haven't heard from in months. You know what I'm talking about. All single ladies out there have them. They are the guys who tell you how fabulous you are and yet only seem to appear every few months only to disappear just as quickly. In other words, they make contact just enough to make sure you don't forget them but don't have a enough of an interest in you to actually date you. You are their "just in case" girl. The one they call when they don't have any others around. No thank you. I deserve better than that so right then and there I decided it was time to stop the cycle. I had a deletion ceremony as the countdown to 2010 began and one by one deleted all of those disappearing/reappearing guys. Now, if I don't recognize the number, I don't answer. If they really want to talk to me, they will either sign the text or leave a message when they call.

My next light bulb moment was this past Friday. I had some family drama going on and I was very worried and extremely upset. My bestest good friend, Tricia was right there with a message (she was out of town), another friend stayed up late to talk to me by text until he was sure I was calmed down and doing ok. I can't tell you how much this meant to me. Some others though. All I can say is "Wow"! One sent a text asking what was wrong. I sent her an email because it was just way too much to type....still haven't heard a word from her. Again, wow. I've done a lot of hand holding and tear catching with her so I was really surprised. 2 other friends that I called in a crying mess have yet to call me back. Again, wow. I understand that it's in my nature to try to take care of everyone I care about but when I'm the one that needs the comforting, it's nice to know that I can ask for it and get a positive response. Sooooo...these would be the toxic relationships. I've lived and learned there. As for those who helped me. You will never know how much it means to me to have you to lean on and know that you will all listen to me.

So, what will the rest of the year bring my way? It's kind of exciting to think about. I'm thankful that so far I've been strong enough to stick to my New Year's Goal but as I said before, it's a process and I only hope that my strength continues. It's been very liberating and freeing so far. I've decided that it's time to stop worrying about everyone else and to stop running myself ragged putting my own desires and needs aside and do what makes me happy and look out for myself. In the end, it will make me a happier and healthier person and that will trickle down to those around me. So, bring on 2010!

Could it be that the red panties are working their magic?

As you all know I took a chance on New Year's Eve and wore red panties when I went to sleep. For those of you who didn't read my last post...1)welcome! and 2) why didn't you read it?......there is a superstition that if it is love/romance that you are wanting to come your way in the new year, wear red panties when you go to sleep on New Year's Eve. If it is financial prosperity that you want to come your way, then wear yellow. Not that I don't need the financial prosperity but I went for the red. Actually, they were a gift form a couple of friends who only want the best for me so they gave me some fancy schmancy ones. I wore them proudly.

Now it is 4 days into the new year and unfortunately, I had to go back to work today after 10 days off. Like I said...it's not that I don't need financial prosperity. Given the extreme cold us South Floridians are currently enjoying, I was able to pull out some winter clothes I don't normally have the opportunity to wear. Also thanks to the cold, there's no humidity so it was a very good hair day. I was looking way cute if I do say so myself.

For those of you who remember my saga with Jeepman this will be especially funny to you. As I was getting out of my car, he pulled into the space right next to me and almost ran from his Jeep to the door. Didn't even push the door extra hard so it stayed open for me much less hold it. He knew I was right behind them. I had on high heeled boots! They make noise, aside from the fact that he freakin saw me. Not even a polite nod or smile or simple hello. So rude, immature and definitely uncalled for. Seriously dude, I don't want you and haven't in a very long time and never will!!! Being polite is not going to cause me to stalk you or anything! You were banished from my kingdom a very long time ago! Be an adult about it all. Again...I will never go out with you again so have no fear of smiling my dear. Anywhoo, I laughed it off, called my sister to tell her, and moved on with my day.

It was an average day work wise. I was in a really good mood for some reason. Not normal for me at work. I got a very nice compliment from a guy friend of mine...who coincidentally works with Jeepman. The compliment definitely made me smile. Come on ladies, we all know that a sincere compliment can brighten our day. Then, I went to the gym and worked out with my trainer. Let's just say I am not a pro at any of this weight training stuff. I get tired, things get really heavy, I'm a sweaty mess but that's all part of the process to improve the body both inside and out. After it was all done and I was sent off to the treadmill to do my cardio I noticed a cutie running on the treadmill next to me....only he was watching me! Me! Sweaty, praying not to die in the gym, me! Woo-hoo! Go me! If he likes what he saw tonight, trust me, it only gets better after a shower and some shampoo...and make up....and cute shoes.

Could it be that the tides are turning? Could it be that the red panties of NYE are working their magic? I know, attitude is everything but if I choose to believe in the power of the red panties, who am I hurting? Stay tuned for future updates!

Ladies...have you got your red or yellow panties ready?

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. There's a superstition out there that says that if it's love/romance that a woman wants to come her way that she should wear red panties when you go to sleep on New Year's Eve and if it's financial prosperity that she is looking for to wear yellow. Yes, I know, it's a superstition...or is this considered an old wives's tale? Regardless, it's worth a try.

New Year's Eve is full of hopes of basically giving yourself a do-over. This isn't always such a bad thing. Think back to all of the not-so-bright dating decisions you may have made in the last year. Wipe the slate clean and give yourself a huge do-over. Want to get in shape? Join a gym and give yourself a do-over! Want to stop smoking? Time for a do-over on the not being able to quit a bad habit thing.

I already started. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week as it is so starting a fitness routine isn't a resolution that I can make. However, I did sign up for another round of sessions with my favorite personal trainer. I think I look great but I also know that I can look and feel better. So, come Monday I will be in extreme pain and wondering why I do this to myself and loving every minute of it. Where exactly is it that I started on the do-over then? Remember Randy the Lilliputian from last night? Well, I was hit on at the gym by a guy that I swear was his clone. I quickly and politely turned him down. Sorry but I did my time with guys like that and it never ever works out so time to try something new. And no, it wasn't the height that made me turn him down it was the attitude. Think "Jersey Shore" transplanted to South Florida for the winter. No thanks.

So Ladies.....what is it that you are looking for in the new year? Set yourself some realistic goals and don't call them resolutions. That's just giving yourself permission to break them. One of my big goals for next year is to get my book published and/or to be published in a national mag. In the meantime, I'll be wearing my pretty red panties when I go to sleep tomorrow night. What color will you be wearing?

Lessons learned over burgers.....

I went and had dinner tonight with two friends, Patti and Amy. It was $1 burger night at Bar Louie and it really can't be missed. Patti and I know each other through a common person who shall remain nameless. Actually, his name in my world and to those closest to me is csl w/ nb. He's an ex and Patti's hubby is his bff. Amy and I have known each other for a couple of years now. I met her through a chain of coincidences. The night started out as any dinner out would. Small talk which leads to more in depth conversation, appetizer, food, laughs, etc. Patti and Amy got along fine and since I'm friends with both it all worked out great for me. At one point, both Amy and I went to the restroom and poor Patti was left alone.

This is where the night gets bizarre. When we came back from the restroom, Patti was being hit on by a very odd guy. His name was Randy, he was a Lilliputian and apparently had been out drinking for quite some time before coming to Bar Louie...and he liked Patti. We all were very quick to point out that Patti was very happily married so he was wasting his time. Amy and I are both single but he wasn't interested in either of us. Woo-hoo! No matter what we did, Randy would not get out of Patti's personal space. Amy and I did all we could to distract him but to no avail. You would not believe the stories and lies Ames told him and he bought them all. Seriously dude...back off! His friend, Ryan, even tried to get him to back off. Finally he convinced him that in order for him to get another drink he had to leave our table and go back to the bar.

So, gentlemen.....what's to be learned from this experience? First of all...if you are the nice guy in the bunch, we will chat with you and will enjoy it but yes, you will be judged by the company you keep. I know, shallow but whatever, it's a reality. Just ask Ryan. We had a good time chatting with him but given that he was attached to the drunk close talker, we didn't want to continue talking to him. Another thing to learn from this may be that if you are drunk, step away from the strangers! Those ladies over at the table do not want to talk to you. They especially do not want you to be practically on their lap. Randy there is just very lucky that Patti has a good sense of humor and is a good sport. Seriously though...when a woman tells you that she is very happily married, believe her!

Take these lessons with you into the New Year! Live and learn boys. I'm here to help.